Tuesday, May 6, 2008

What Doesn't Work For Me - FlyLady

When I first discovered Fly Lady I felt I had found my savior. I absolutely was living in CHAOS (Can't Have Anyone Over Syndrome). I did feel overwhelmed, overextended, and overdrawn. I needed someone to help and I needed it fast! I was going to lose my mind.

I hastily signed up for her emails and dragged out the bleach to start Step One.

I shined my sink until I could see myself in it and informed everyone else in my family that they should be proud of that sink, too! Don't leave your dirty dishes in our nice, clean sink! They didn't share the same pride, however, and I found myself resenting their absolute lack of sink love.

I welcomed Fly Lady's average of 13 emails a day reminding me to put on my shoes (laced!), work in my zone, shine my sink, and get to bed on time.

I tried... really... I did... but I felt that Fly Lady didn't really understand me. She must not have really known how insane my house was. I needed help IMMEDIATELY. After a week of dutifully following Fly Lady's lessons my sink looked nice, but there was still crap EVERYWHERE in my house and I wasn't feeling any less overwhelmed or overloaded. In fact, I felt angry that my family kept dumping dirty dishes in my sink and a tremendous pressure to wear shoes and get to bed by 10:00.

So what did I do? I broke the cardinal rule of Fly Lady. I tried to catch up. I couldn't stand the Baby Steps. I couldn't wait. I wanted to see results more quickly.

I have my house much more under control now and I have my own schedule to make it work. I don't need to get 13 emails in my inbox every day to keep it going (I have enough spam, thankyouverymuch) and I feel much better. I do try to keep my sink clean and shiny but my feet are bare and free.

So that's what DOESN'T work for me. :) For more things that don't work, check out Rocks In My Dryer!


The (Almost) Amazing Mammarino said...[Reply to comment]

I had to laugh at this one! I've been on and off the Flylady wagon for years.

If you need more organizing advice, I highly recommend Sandra Felton's books. (Messie No More, The New Messies Manual) They are awesome!

Kari & Kijsa said...[Reply to comment]

Teehee- been there...still there!! Thanks for the smile!!

kari & kijsa

Angie said...[Reply to comment]

Definitely been there too! The emails just really were too much for me, and that was before I got nearly as much email as I get now.

Awesome Mom said...[Reply to comment]

Yeah Fly Lady annoyed the heck out of me too. I hate wearing shoes and I did not need her to nag me about it. We also have an enamel sink that you can't shine.

Beth@Sportsmomma said...[Reply to comment]

BTDT!!! Yep, I set up a seperate e-mail account for Fly Lady and couldn't tell you the last time I checked it. I even made a Home Management Binder- which has only managed to become buried under a pile of stuff on my desk! Maybe I need to dust it off and get busy!!

Mrs. Pharris said...[Reply to comment]

Hi! I'm Mrs. Pharris and I've been FlyLady sober for almost a year now. I implemented a lot of what she said, go barefoot all day, and blocked their stinkin' hundred e-mails a day!

I'm sure she's a nice lady, but wearing SHOES in the house all day in the SUMMER is just wrong. She CAN'T be southern.

Enjoyed your entry.

HopewellMomSchool said...[Reply to comment]

Hilarious--also love the title of your blog

Momala said...[Reply to comment]

I agree, I have tried Flylady two or three times, and always ended up quitting. I just couldn't take the emails! The last straw was going away on vacation and coming home to twenty bazillion emails. (that may be a little bit of an exaggeration)

ames said...[Reply to comment]

I could never get past the first step. Despite best efforts, my sink was never shiny for more than a day. It was making me sad and frustrated, so I bailed.

Michelle@Life with Three said...[Reply to comment]

You don't want to know how many times I've fallen off the FlyLady bandwagon. Too many too count. I couldn't help thinking, "It's easy to do a morning routine when you don't have to nurse a baby, send someone off to preschool and play Power Rangers." The FlyLady calls that whining. I just call it facts. I unsubscribed. :)

Jamie said...[Reply to comment]

The emails were my undoing- if you could choose just the mission of the day or something like that instead of the avalanche I would be more inclined to read them. I'm off and on with her.

Jenna said...[Reply to comment]

I found that using the book "Sidetracked Home Executives," (which I believe FlyLady is at least in part based on) worked SOO much better for me than fly lady. I didn't like the e-mails, and it was way too easy to just erase them. But I like the philosophy of it... and the SHE system gives me a card system that works and is visual (I can see how many cards I have left each day). In fact, we just moved into a new house... okay, a month ago, and one of my chores this morning is reorganizing our card box and getting back on the wagon with them!

Loni said...[Reply to comment]

I liked FlyLady much more about seven years ago. It was far easier to follow. There were emails that had subjects that got your attention, not a few of those mixed in with one million testimonials mixed in with recipe links mixed in with selling this and that mixed in with who knows what! I was a super FlyLday success back in the beginning. I hadn't used her emails in years, until just recently. It's not working for me anymore. I wish she'd find her way back to those first days.

Marie said...[Reply to comment]

The baby steps drove me nuts too. You want to get your house in order, and what do you get? Three weeks of emails about keeping your sink shiny. I too have simply established my own routine, and in that way FlyLady did work for me, as a jumping-off point. Her book Body Clutter is really good too.

Dana said...[Reply to comment]

I posted about the same thing! I can't make it work for me.


Jen @ Daily Mish Mash said...[Reply to comment]

I'm a flylady reject too. Some of her tips work, but the emails got to be too much. I thought she overdid it with the testimonials and product marketing.

I'm glad I stopped by your blog. I'll definitely be coming back!

Phyllis@Aimless Conversation said...[Reply to comment]

Thanks, I feel relieved. I knew I couldn't be the only one who just hated the e-mails and the s-l-o-w-n-e-s-s of the system. The shine the sink chore just got tiresome.

Sarah Kimmel said...[Reply to comment]

AMEN AMEN AND AMEN! I never have signed up for FLY lady, but I really just don't like her. I'm a "Born Organized" person, and it seemed like she was looking down on me. Also I can't STAND her website!! For an "organization" site it sure is REALLY cluttered! I get a headache just looking at it. OK, I've wanted to get that off my chest for a while. :) Thanks for listening.

Lori said...[Reply to comment]

I googled "when FlyLady doesn't work" and up popped this entry on your blog! :)

Like you, I diligently tried to do FlyLady several years ago, because it would only take me so far...

This year, I borrowed the SHE book from the library and typed up a Master Chore List for our house, but maybe I need to do the cards so I won't get on the COMPUTER (a prime source of my problem).

If you wouldn't mind sharing your schedule, that might be helpful to some of the rest of us FlyLady Flunkies.

Anonymous said...[Reply to comment]

Thank you, Thank you, Thank you! I'm glad I'm not the only one.

I hate how most of her e-mails are trying to sell you something. The few that don't try to hock her books or her organizational/cleaning tools are ones that don't apply to me--I don't have kids, I don't need an e-mail just for them. Or sometimes the cleaning task would be something I've already done recently so it was useless. Some weeks I would just look at the sneek peek and do all the tasks in one day, then delete the rest of the e-mails for the week.

Plus, she makes it sound like the root of disorganization is depression or poor self-esteem--um, there are other reasons people are disorganized!

lulla said...[Reply to comment]

From a failed fly lady from down under I'm so glad to find I'm not the only one. I was more depressed by fly lady than I was by the clutter. AND I created more clutter by buying just about everything she promoted. Thanks I L.O.L., Lulla

kdean said...[Reply to comment]

Similar experience--the FL email reminders aren't really my thing. I do think the idea is a sound one though--having a schedule/routine you follow as a family is really key. I used the emails to get ideas, then just went rogue and made my own routine.

No need to be a creepy drone or do everything to the letter, we're all adults--use what works, don't use what doesn't, no? But I guess that's exactly what your blog post is about :-)

Zazzu said...[Reply to comment]

I quit Flylady after one day of annoying e-mails. If I want to be nagged to death, I'll move in with my mother. ;)

For several years, I did enjoy visiting the website a few times a year. But, in 2008, every time I've tried to go to Flylady.net I get a computer error that shuts down my browser. So, no more Flylady for me at ALL.

Anonymous said...[Reply to comment]

I never used Flylady, but a friend was pushing it hard on me. I couldn't stand what I saw of her, and refused. Glad I'm not the only one. Thanks for sharing.

Jennifer said...[Reply to comment]

I like the *idea* behind Flylady, and I used her for a while. But I would fall behind and get overwhelmed by the emails and I never actually got around to ever finishing my zones...I had a great looking patio at the beginning of each month, though :)

My mom had a great system for me when I was growing up, maybe I should go back to that. We NEVER left dishes in the sink for her to clean up when she got home from work (my dad's rule, not hers), I helped cook dinner almost every night and dishwasher got unloaded while dinner was being prepped and/or cooking. The whole family (dad included) helped cleaning the kitchen after dinner. Saturday was for grocery shopping and laundry. And I had a "chore" each day of the week to get done. Mondays were for mopping the kitchen floor, Tuesdays for Master bathroom, Wednesdays were for guest bathroom, Thursdays dust the house and Friday Vacuum house. Sundays were for family time together. It worked great for our family.