Saturday, May 31, 2008

On Being a Floridian

Most of the time I get forwards and I laugh and delete. Being a native Floridian I had to forward this one on... and repost it to my blog. :)

You know you're a Floridian if....

Socks are only for bowling.

You never use an umbrella because you know the rain will be over in five minutes. This is a huge problem between The Man and I. He always wants an umbrella and I never even owned one until he made me. It's just some drippy thing you have to carry around after the sun comes back out.

A good parking place has nothing to do with distance from the store, but everything to do with shade. This is so true... all the spots under trees are taken first. We Floridians don't seem to care if a bird goes dookie on our car as long as our steering wheel doesn't burn the flesh off of our hands when we get back in the thing.

Your winter coat is made of denim. Mine is a hoodie.

You can tell the difference between fire ant bites and mosquito bites.

You're younger than thirty but some of your friends are over 65.

Anything under 70 degrees is chilly. Sometimes 75 is chilly for me. I've been known to wear a sweater around the house because it's set on 75. :)

You've driven through Yeehaw Junction. I've actually STOPPED there. Anticlimactic...

You know that no other grocery store can compare to Publix.

Every other house in your neighborhood had blue roofs in 2004-2005. There are a few nearby here that still have the blue roof.

You know that anything under a Category 3 just isn't worth waking up for.

You dread love bug season.

You are on a first name basis with the Hurricane list. They aren't Hurricane Charley or Hurricane Frances. You know them as Andrew, Charley , Frances , Ivan and Jeanne.

You know what a snowbird is and when they'll leave.

You think a six-foot alligator is actually pretty average.

'Down South' means Key West ..

Flip-flops are everyday wear. Shoes are for business meetings and church, but you HAVE worn flip flops to church before. I pink puffy heart my flip flops.

You have a drawer full of bathing suits, and one sweatshirt.

You get annoyed at the tourists who feed seagulls. I had to disagree with this... I feed the seagulls.

A mountain is any hill 100 feet above sea level.

You know the four seasons really are: hurricane season, love bug season, tourist season and summer.

You've hosted a hurricane party. And stocked up on Hurricane mix! YUM!

You can pronounce Okeechobee, Kissimmee , Withlacoochee and Micanopy.

You understand why it's better to have a friend with a boat, than have a boat yourself.

You were 25 when you first met someone who couldn't swim. I've never met an adult who couldn't swim that I know of.

You've worn shorts and used the A/C on Christmas and New Years. Florida family Christmas photos are always silly like this. We're either dressed like it's summer or our faces are all red and sweltering in our Christmas sweaters.

You recognize Miami-Dade as 'Northern Cuba'

My mom prides herself on being born in Florida. Three generations of my family have all been born in the same hospital. She pronounces Miami as "my-yam-uh" instead of "my-yam-ee" because she swears that's how all the real Floridians say it. I wonder if other states have such a pride about being a native as Floridians do. I mean, if you're from Oklahoma are you all proud that you and your mom and your mom's mom were all born there?

I truly do feel that Florida is my home. I am familiar with the land, I understand the climate, I know my home. I know I can't handle the cold. The coldest I've ever experienced was a dry 19 degree North Carolina winter and I was cold to the bone. That's when I knew I was a Florida girl. There's no place better than dinner and drinks on the water in the cool air of a Florida evening in December. Except for maybe a tiki bar on the beach of a breezy Florida afternoon in March. :)

They say we'll be under water down here in South Florida by the end of the century. What a terribly sad thought. I'd love to think that my grandchildren could experience all the fun of the Florida lifestyle that I've grown up with. We're laid back, we say y'all, we like to take afternoons off, drive convertibles, and wear flowery clothes. That just wouldn't look right anywhere else, y'all!


mah-meeee said...[Reply to comment]

great list. that started my day!

what's the diff between fire any bites and mosquito bites?

you now know an adult that doesn't swim - me. sad, i know.

happy weekend!

Domestic Spaz said...[Reply to comment]

Fire ant bites typically leave a white head type of pimple on the skin while mosquito bites leave a small welt. :)

Go learn to swim! You're in California for goodnessakes!

Karen said...[Reply to comment]

I love this! All of it so true!
I HATE socks and have everyday flip flops and "fancy" flip flops! Hee hee!
Yee Haw Junction, oh yeah, on my way from college to my parents house.
But this is my favorite:
You know the four seasons really are: hurricane season, love bug season, tourist season and summer.

Bahama Shores Mama: said...[Reply to comment]

As a fellow Floridian I loved this!

Don't forget here in FL the further south you go the more north you get!

Manic Mom said...[Reply to comment]

I LOVED reading this because I was born in Tampa and lived there until I was 16 so to me, I will will always be a Floridian even though I live in Chicago now and have spent more than half my life in cold weather!!!

I'm sharing this with my parents who are back in Tampa now! Thanks!

suz said...[Reply to comment]

this is GREAT. I am a native and I have not read this...but it is oh so true.
Great blog...I found you from Karen.

Danette said...[Reply to comment]

Oh my stars, every one of them is true. ACK, I am a Floridian!!

Irishmama said...[Reply to comment]

I've seen these lists from PA, Philadelphia, even the county I grew up in and found them all to be hysterically accurate. I enjoyed reading yours. I visited Florida in May - (which season was that?) I even shopped in Publix.

Anonymous said...[Reply to comment]

My partner and I really enjoyed reading this blog post, I was just itching to know do you trade featured posts? I am always trying to find someone to make trades with and merely thought I would ask.

The Spaz said...[Reply to comment]

Anonymous - I really don't trade posts. Over the years of writing here, I've decided I don't really care if I get any traffic to it, so trading posts isn't much of an interest to me. (That, and I don't know who I'd be trading with!)

But thanks for liking my blog! :)