Tuesday, May 31, 2011

The Spaz laments bathing suits... for her daughter

Our plan for Sunday was to meet my family at the beach to celebrate my dad's birthday. Nothing could have been more appropriate for the beautiful South Florida Memorial Day weekend we were having than a day at the beach.

And I was prepared. I purchased my dad's birthday cake at Publix the night before, along with some cupcakes in a patriotic theme. I made a pitcher of margaritas to drink while lounging on the beach, and I made sure bathing suits and changes of clothing were available the day before.

So on Sunday morning when I started handing out appropriate bathing suits, I was shocked to discover that I could not find the adorable one piece bathing suit I had set out for Munchkin. Nowhere. She hinted that she had used it the day before at another family pool party, I'm not sure... it's still unclear as to where the missing (and entirely appropriate) suit went. I'm sure I'll find it shortly after I hit "Post" on this entry, though.

We were already running late (me? running late? never!) so I asked Munchkin to check her drawers in her room and find me whatever bathing suits she had in there and we'd figure out what fit. Munchkin has gone through a growth spurt lately so it appears that almost everything is too small.

She brought out the one suit I've been avoiding. The one I probably should have just gotten rid of when she received it as a gift. 

The skimpy bikini from Justice with padding.

And here's where my reasoning went sour.  We were running late, the suit was clean, it fit, and we would be only with family at the semi-private beach at a condominium that is almost empty during the summer season. And, of course, Munchkin really wanted to wear it.  So I let her wear it.

And then I spent the first portion of my afternoon explaining Munchkin's mature bikini to my sisters while I marveled at how many people were on the usually empty beach for Memorial Day weekend.  And then I drank that pitcher of margaritas and tried not to care that my 9 year old had instantly transformed into a 15 year old on the beach.

It boggles my mind, really, that these types of bathing suits are made.  In our society, where protecting our children has gone to such an extreme that I get crap from the school bus driver for allowing my child to walk the 500 feet from his bus stop to our driveway unattended, why would any company manufacture a bathing suit that gives a 9 year old boobies hidden under tiny triangles of fabric? And why would anyone, especially a mother, purchase that bikini?

Parents are organizing veritable lynch mobs to go door to door and tell neighbors of any sexual predators that lurk within their own suburban communities, and those same parents are allowing their daughters to wear padded bikinis and shorts that say "CUTIE" and "SWEETHEART" across the butts. They're enrolling their girls in cheerleading squads and dance groups that encourage their little darlings to gyrate to T-Pain and Lil Wayne while wearing belly shirts and boy shorts.

But aren't they quick to fashion a noose for any man who dares to let his eyes wander or linger too long. What do you expect?

The bathing suit top has been retired and I'm purchasing Munchkin some swim shirts to wear with the bottoms. I don't think I can make enough margaritas to be okay with her wearing that padded top out in public again.