The Spaz laments bathing suits... for her daughter

Our plan for Sunday was to meet my family at the beach to celebrate my dad's birthday. Nothing could have been more appropriate for the beautiful South Florida Memorial Day weekend we were having than a day at the beach.

And I was prepared. I purchased my dad's birthday cake at Publix the night before, along with some cupcakes in a patriotic theme. I made a pitcher of margaritas to drink while lounging on the beach, and I made sure bathing suits and changes of clothing were available the day before.

So on Sunday morning when I started handing out appropriate bathing suits, I was shocked to discover that I could not find the adorable one piece bathing suit I had set out for Munchkin. Nowhere. She hinted that she had used it the day before at another family pool party, I'm not sure... it's still unclear as to where the missing (and entirely appropriate) suit went. I'm sure I'll find it shortly after I hit "Post" on this entry, though.

We were already running late (me? running late? never!) so I asked Munchkin to check her drawers in her room and find me whatever bathing suits she had in there and we'd figure out what fit. Munchkin has gone through a growth spurt lately so it appears that almost everything is too small.

She brought out the one suit I've been avoiding. The one I probably should have just gotten rid of when she received it as a gift. 

The skimpy bikini from Justice with padding.

And here's where my reasoning went sour.  We were running late, the suit was clean, it fit, and we would be only with family at the semi-private beach at a condominium that is almost empty during the summer season. And, of course, Munchkin really wanted to wear it.  So I let her wear it.

And then I spent the first portion of my afternoon explaining Munchkin's mature bikini to my sisters while I marveled at how many people were on the usually empty beach for Memorial Day weekend.  And then I drank that pitcher of margaritas and tried not to care that my 9 year old had instantly transformed into a 15 year old on the beach.

It boggles my mind, really, that these types of bathing suits are made.  In our society, where protecting our children has gone to such an extreme that I get crap from the school bus driver for allowing my child to walk the 500 feet from his bus stop to our driveway unattended, why would any company manufacture a bathing suit that gives a 9 year old boobies hidden under tiny triangles of fabric? And why would anyone, especially a mother, purchase that bikini?

Parents are organizing veritable lynch mobs to go door to door and tell neighbors of any sexual predators that lurk within their own suburban communities, and those same parents are allowing their daughters to wear padded bikinis and shorts that say "CUTIE" and "SWEETHEART" across the butts. They're enrolling their girls in cheerleading squads and dance groups that encourage their little darlings to gyrate to T-Pain and Lil Wayne while wearing belly shirts and boy shorts.

But aren't they quick to fashion a noose for any man who dares to let his eyes wander or linger too long. What do you expect?

The bathing suit top has been retired and I'm purchasing Munchkin some swim shirts to wear with the bottoms. I don't think I can make enough margaritas to be okay with her wearing that padded top out in public again.

In which the Spaz says "Go outside and play!"

I read an article today about the End of the Supermom Era. And I have to say, I love it when I read things like this. It makes me feel better about myself.

Because I am the opposite of the Supermom. And it's funny... because in reality, I feel sorry for the Supermom's kids. Supermom has it all together. Her house is immaculate, her hair is perfect, and her nails and feet are done. She wouldn't dare leave the house without make-up and she's absolutely never going to throw on a shirt that may or may not have a small hole or stain she believes no one will ever notice even though that shirt is comfortable and technically clean.

Supermom drives an SUV and it is clean. Inside and out. Her two children are always clean and well dressed and if she has girls they don't leave the house without corresponding hair accessories.

And I am not that mom. If you're a consistent reader of my blog, you've probably picked up on that.

But I am a damned good mom. I will do whatever it takes to make sure my kids are successful and healthy and happy. Even if that means I will go without. I will teach them that there is a lot more to life than what other people think about you and that what you think about yourself will always be more important.

I will let them fall in the dirt and pick themselves up and dust themselves off and move on with their lives. I will let them climb to the top of the monkey bars and pray with all I've got that they don't fall off and break their arm. But if they do, we'll chalk that up to one of life's experiences. I will let them ride their bikes to the park and know that they know how to cross the street without me holding their hand.

I will teach them how to do their own laundry, make their own bed, cook their own dinner. I will teach them to manage their own money and make good choices. When they are out on their own, without me there to help them, they will know how to make a decision.

They will walk in the woods and respect nature. They will know to leave the world better than they found it. They will walk through their childhood with their eyes open and their minds quiet and ready.

Because one day they will have to grow up. Adulthood will find them whether I want it to happen or not. And it's going to be a lot easier on them if they know how to take care of themselves when it comes along.

Believe it or not, it's a battle to raise my kids this way. I'm constantly fighting a society that wants to baby their children until they leave the nest. The school district that won't allow my 7 year old to walk home from his bus stop alone, the well-meaning adult who tells my 10 year old not to climb the tree at the park, the other mom who looks at me like I'm crazy for letting my 9 year old go to a sleep away camp with her Junior troop over an hour away. They're learning, they're growing, they're becoming a little more independent every single day.

I'm always there watching and praying and pushing media hype out of my head. Yes, there are children that get hurt, children who are victimized, and children who never return home to their families. And those stories rip me apart to the point where I can barely bring myself to listen to them. But where does the risk to benefit ratio lie?

When do I stop protecting my child and start hurting him with over-protection? When I see children who can program the DVR but can't pump a swing by themselves, I have to wonder how that's even possible? Our children sit in front of gameboys and televisions and iPods and computers until they're heads swim, but half of them can't ride a bike without training wheels. And what's really more dangerous? The Disney channel or my middle class rural suburban neighborhood?

New babies are AWESOME! Dammit.

So I'm at the grocery store yesterday (I think I'm always at the grocery store) and I overhear a conversation between a woman and one of the Publix employees.

It went something like this:

Woman: "Hey Pete! Where've you been? I haven't seen you around lately."

Pete: "Well, actually, my wife and I just had a baby so I took some time off.

Woman: "Oh, okay."

And then she walked away.

Does anyone else find that odd? Am I the only one who thinks an "Oh my gosh! Congratulations! How wonderful!" was in order?

What kind of a person doesn't naturally just congratulate the heck out of someone when they're told that person has brought a new life into this world!?!

I almost ran after the guy myself just to congratulate him, but then realized how incredibly weird that would be of me since I wasn't really part of the conversation.

And then every time I saw that woman again while perusing the aisles, I gave her dirty looks. That's right, dirty looks.

PS - I started a new blog for my eBay stuffs! Check it out. :)