Thursday, June 11, 2009

Where the heck is that soapbox?

I was reading something today from another blogger who feels her identity has shifted due to changes in her life. Is she still a "mommy blogger" if her blog doesn't focus primarily on being a mom? Or if she now has to share custody of her kids? Or if she made decisions that the "mommy blogging community" may look down upon?

And I say who gives a rat's ass?

I mean, really... when I started this blog I didn't really know what it was going to be. Obviously I fit it into the "mommy blog" category since I named it what I did. But over time it has evolved. I have evolved.

And I really think my blog has helped me to do so.

While I realize that a large majority of my life is defined as being a mother, I'm still me. I'm still the person I was before I had children and I won't just disappear when they don't need me anymore. I don't have to revolve my life around my children.

My job is to keep them safe, to raise them to be good people with good judgment and good character. My job is to prepare them to go out into the world on their own and be strong and self-sufficient.

And though that is the most demanding and time consuming job I've ever had, it's okay for there to be times in my life when raising them and providing for them is not my focus. It's okay to be selfish and it's okay to be carefree. And it's okay to think about things that don't involve my children one little bit.

I've never been the type of person who tells other people that "everything I do, I do for my children" or "they're the reason I wake up in the morning" or anything else to that effect. Because seriously? I woke up every morning before they came along and I had a purpose. And if some horrible tragedy happened tomorrow that took my children from me, I would still have a purpose and a life to live.

That doesn't make me any less of a mom - but it certainly does make me more of who I want to be.


Anonymous said...[Reply to comment]

If this were a note on Facebook, I'd choose the "Like" button!!! I Love love love LOVE being a mom (soon-to-be three times over!) but we can't lose sight of ourselves.

Rock on, sistah!

Lucy said...[Reply to comment]

It must be the time of year. A lot of bloggers seem to be going through the 'what is my blog all about?' question. Thinking about makeovers and questioning the purpose of life all in one big bang moment. Somehow connecting remaking a blog to the meaning of life is interesting to say the least.

You said it nicely, staying stagnant is just not how life is!

The Virtuous Girl said...[Reply to comment]

Right on Sister! Some how you've mained to remain the the super-cool, level-headed, grunge wearing, intellectual, free thinking young woman that you've always been.

Anonymous said...[Reply to comment]

I just love your blog...
I wish I could've done this when my kids were small, maybe it would have given me some insight to how I raised them....
Luckily it all turned out ok, I think...
Keep up the good work :)