I wonder how many well-intentioned vegans have been driven to meat by the Tofurky...

In a follow up to my previous post, I'll report on how Thanksgiving went with my aversion to eating things that had parents or things that come from things that had parents.

It all started well enough. I decided that instead of just sitting at the table eating green beans and rolls while everyone else told me how wonderful the turkey tasted, I'd go ahead and make myself a mock turkey out of tofu. I found a recipe, made a grocery list, and almost bought all of it.

B2 and I went to the grocery store together and in the produce section next to the tofu was a Tofurky... already packaged and stuffed for $12.99. Since the kitchen was going to be a bit monopolized, we figured this was a great alternative and we added it to the cart.

I also purchased the ingredients for a vegan pumpkin pie and made it along with the regular pumpkin pie, pecan pie, and Jello Heath Bar Pudding Pie (which I hear was fantastic). I even attempted a coconut whipped cream topping for it, but that failed miserably. I'll have to try it again some other time.

The good news is the vegan pumpkin pie was fantastic. I even forgot to add the brown sugar and it was still delicious.

The bad news is that it would take a vat of cranberry sauce and four more glasses of wine to make that Tofurky edible. I sincerely apologize to Turtle Island Foods who makes the Tofurky Roast, because I know they have the best of intentions and I'm sure they did their very best to make it taste as good as possible.

But it is not tasty. The Tofurky Roast, in fact, was the one thing this Thanksgiving that truly made me want to eat meat. I don't know if it would have been better if I had made my own stuffed tofu roast... but I tell you this, I'm a lot more hesitant to try after taking a couple of bites of that Tofurky. I would venture to say that the Tofurky is the reason a lot of vegans don't stay that way.

It wasn't just the taste... but the smell... I can't even describe it. You'd have to go out and purchase one and smell it yourself. And I don't recommend doing so.

I wasn't a perfect vegan on Thanksgiving. I did not eat the turkey or the gravy (though I'm sure that gravy would have improved the taste of my Tofurky), but I did have some of B2's amazing stuffed mushrooms that contained sausage and I had a generous helping of the stuffing that my brother-in-law soaked in chicken broth. It was delicious like you can't imagine. I ate B1's mashed potatoes that probably have my arteries clogging as I type this and they tasted heavenly and I even put some cool whip on top of my vegan pumpkin pie since my coconut whipped topping was a failure.  Baby steps.

I have a month to figure out how I'm going to handle Christmas (the food of choice for Christmas in my family is a standing rib roast, potatoes cooked in heavy cream and garlic, and asparagus smothered in Bearnaise sauce... we keep paramedics standing by) and I'll spend some of this month researching recipes that I can bring along with me to share. Perhaps a creamy butternut squash soup? We shall see.

The Spaz questions Thanksgiving, her morality, & cranberry sauce

Over the past several years I've been an on again, off again vegetarian, vegan, pescatarian, etc. I go back and forth, struggling with my morality and my love of cheese and my hatred of my ever expanding ass. In the end I always come back to the fact that I don't like the meat industry. I don't like any industry that causes harm to any living creature. 


So where am I now?

I'm not going to try to classify myself. I guess I'll just say I'm doing the best I can. I'm trying to be mindful of what I buy, what I eat, and what my role in it all is. I'm trying to be honest with myself.

And honesty isn't always easy, especially when it's yourself you have to be honest with.


Every once in a while someone recommends a documentary or a website or something that reinforces my decision to try not to contribute to these industries. Someone posts a link or talks about it in passing conversation and I think to myself... oh no, I'm going to watch this or read this and I'm going to have more information and more moral dilemma.


Most recently it was Food, Inc. and Forks Not Knives. Both of these are incredible films that really have opened my eyes to what I'm really feeding my family and myself. They're also both available on Netflix and I can't recommend them enough.


In this time in history, we have so much education about food and the reality of what goes on in the meat industry. We have a wealth of information right at our fingertips about everything, really. It seems irresponsible to just shut my eyes and buy a package of ground beef at the grocery store when I know that I'm really buying a package of cruelty.

I hear people reason with me... or maybe with themselves... about how industry standards have improved or the cow doesn't think like you and I do or how all those films are sponsored by radical groups like PETA.

The industry is one that kills animals. Let's be honest with ourselves. They're not bringing Bessie into a nice, calm barn after she's lived a happy life grazing in the field and giving her a sedative so she falls into a happy, dreamy sleep before she's painlessly euthanized far away from any other cows that might witness the deed.

It's slaughter. There's a reason why they call it a slaughterhouse. It's scary, it's painful, and it's ugly.

And I really don't want to be a part of that.

I type this in the wee hours of the morning on the day before Thanksgiving. A day when I'll attend family functions where more than one turkey will be served, perhaps a pig, an overload of dairy products and probably a few chicken or cow parts thrown around, too. There was even talk this year about getting a Turducken. That's right. Why just kill one animal for our glutenous celebration when we can kill three and tie them all together!

And I'll be a part of it this year. I can't save the turkey that's being served at my in-law's or the one that's being served at my mom and dad's house. They're both already purchased and defrosting in a sink somewhere as I type.

This year I'll make pies. Pumpkin, Pecan, and Chocolate. And they'll contain evaporated milk and eggs and whatever they put in those Pillsbury refrigerated pie crusts.*  We'll top them with whipped cream and everyone will be joyous and merry.


What will I eat? I don't know. Perhaps I'll try to pick around and do the best I can with my options. Maybe I'll try to make a vegan pumpkin pie and top it with some coconut whipped cream. Perhaps I can find a couple of side dishes that aren't accented with bacon or heavy cream or cheese or italian sausage. There's a slim chance. I can have cranberry sauce, right? Or I might just have a couple of glasses of wine and dig in.



Maybe I'll try to bring a couple of vegan things along with me and hope that my family will give them a try and maybe, just maybe, not ridicule me too much for being "such a hippie" or just plain difficult.


It's not just outside of the home that I feel like I'm fighting the battle. It's within my own home, too. The Man is opposed to eating anything that doesn't involve things that had parents. Sure, he'll choke down a salad before his steak as long as it's got some creamy dressing, parmesan cheese, and bacon bits. He'll eat broccoli covered in melted cheddar. Asparagus? Bring on the Bearnaise sauce!


And the kids think they're being punished if they don't have cheese pizza, macaroni & cheese, grilled cheese, or cheeseburgers on a regular basis.


It's a constant battle. With the people I love and with myself.  The last time I really went for a long stretch without meat, I cried because I wanted a hot dog so badly it hurt. Of all the things in the world, it was a hot dog that broke me.


So I'll try again. I'll do my best and if I fail I'll just pick myself up and try again.


Happy Thanksgiving, y'all. I truly hope you have a wonderful day filled with family and friends and laughter and love and all that makes a holiday wonderful. I know I will.


*Partially Hydrogenated Lard - mmmmm... pig fat pie. I can't wait!

The post you've been in angsty anticipation of for all this time...

It sure has gotten dusty around here, hasn't it?

I have no excuse for not posting in almost 2 months... life hasn't really been busier than it ever was before (I mean, except for the holidays and all - whew!), there haven't been any illnesses or worse, and my computer has been working just fine.

I just haven't wanted to. I guess I haven't felt like I had anything really important to say lately.

Things around the Spaz household have been busy as usual. November brought us some cooler weather (thank goodness!) and The Man has been busier than ever with his plans to take over the world. In fact, he's gotten so busy that he put in his two weeks notice with the security business just before Thanksgiving and is now focusing all his efforts on world domination.

Thanksgiving was a wonderful, albeit short, vacation to my mom and dad's house in North Carolina where we searched for snow (but didn't find any) and enjoyed the welcome break from Florida's heat.

I managed to snap this great picture of the kids for Christmas cards just before my camera died, never to be revived again.

We made the long trek back to South Florida Thanksgiving night so The Man could report for work the next night and life got back to normal for a little while and then before we knew it Bug was turning 10.

When it hits me that I've been a mom for an entire decade it just boggles my mind. You'd think I'd have a good grasp on this whole motherhood/parenting thing by now, right? Wrong.

Bug had a great birthday at Lion Country Safari with one of his friends from school. We fed giraffes by hand, we saw giant alligators, and of course, lions. The kids frolicked in the water park area and we ate greasy funnel cakes. Of course, I have no pictures because my camera died... did I mention that already?

And then just when I thought I was getting a grasp on the insanity that is my house, Christmas came along to ruin any sort of control I may have thought I had on the chaos. The Christmas tree went up (with much wailing and gnashing of teeth on The Man's part), the kids decorated it all by themselves (and it looked honestly, just about as good as I've ever done), the presents went under and then the day finally came.

At 7 AM (not too bad, don't you think?) we were woken by the angelic voice of Goober. "Hey guys! Get up! It's CHRISTMAS!!!"

And the mayhem began. Wrapping paper and ribbons that I had so carefully put together were torn and thrown into the air. We struggled with clamshell packaging and twisty ties and screw drivers needed to install batteries. It was beautiful. And it was only the beginning.

In total our kids get FOUR Christmases. One at The Man's dad's house on Christmas Eve, one in the morning at our house, one at The Man's aunt's house, and one at my mom and dad's. It makes for three very sugar filled, dazed, and jolly children.

Yesterday I just couldn't take it anymore and I took down the tree and put away all the Christmas decorations until next year. I just can't wait to get my house back under control.

Unfortunately it still looks like Santa Claus and about ten of his elves (and perhaps a couple of reindeer) had a giant drunken party in my living room, but I'll get it under control soon enough. :)

How was your holiday this year?