Where Goober proves he's not afraid of anything! (Except for loud birds and the opening to HBO's Crashbox...)

Last weekend was my youngest niece's 7th birthday celebration at the fair.  When I was a little kid we went to the fair almost every year for B2's birthday as it always fell around the same time of the year.  So it was sort of nostalgic to go for her daughter's birthday this year.

It was probably the coldest day we've had so far this year in South Florida and it was slightly overcast which probably was what kept the crowds at bay so our kids could freely jump with practically no wait from one ride to another.

But before we even really got started, Goober, my youngest child at only eight years old decided he wanted to ride the Drop of Fear.

Let me just let you linger on that name for a minute. Drop of FEAR.

I had to do a little research just to figure out how big the Drop of Fear is and what I found was that the Drop of Fear is 131 feet high. And my eight year old wanted to ride it.

At first I thought that I would be saved by ride height limitations, but lucky for us, Goober has evidently just reached the 48 inch limit and was cleared for safety. Because my child plummeting 131 feet to the ground is safe.

Goober and The Man climbed aboard the ride and were strapped in safely and sat in anticipation while the rest of the riders buckled in.  Once everyone was strapped in, the ride began it's ascent.

And with every foot they rose, I felt that little panic ride in my throat. The one that causes me to do stupid things like start screaming obscenities at the ride operator in order to convince him to bring the ride down slowly and allow my baby to get off.  This is the same panic that caused "The Great Dragon Boat Freak Out of 1989" when B1 convinced me to get on that stupid dragon boat ride and I had a full on panic attack resulting in me screaming obscenities I didn't even know I knew to a poor unsuspecting ride operator as we flew back and forth through the air. I was absolutely SURE I was going to die.

Evidently I'm very foul mouthed when I think I'm going to die.

I felt my heart beating faster and I started to sweat a little in the 55 degree weather as I stared at the well worn soles of my little boy's sneakers as they dangled 131 feet above me. The wait for them to come back down was agonizing. 

But I kept it together as I watched Goober and The Man rise to the height of 131 feet and I only slightly dug my fingernails into B2's arm as they dropped.

I'm fairly certain they dropped even faster than the speed of 9.8 meters per second that natural gravity allows. I'm fairly certain I had a little mini heart attack as I watched.

I didn't get video of it because I was busy keeping myself in check, so I present you with a video someone else took of their own loved one aboard a similar ride.





Yeah.

When Goober got off the ride he was a little dizzy and slightly freaked out. He was actually so freaked out that he was a bit hesitant to go on any other rides for a little while until he realized that after the Drop of Fear they were all yawnsville.

I'm glad he's not proving to be an adrenaline junkie or anything.

The fair was wonderful, though. My favorite part was the baby cows in the Mooternity tent. We watched the wobbly little babies attempt to stand for the first time and it truly made my heart melt. I could watch them all day.

And we ate. And ate. And ate some more. I even ate an Italian sausage and felt terrible about it. I haven't fallen off the vegetarian wagon very often since I started, but it has happened a few times. The fair and all the yummy smells and delicious flavors pushed me over the edge. I did manage to stay away from the Krispy Kreme burger and the fried Oreos. But the sausage got me.

So back on the wagon... and the ground.

I will be SO PISSED if this all works out and then the world blows up at the end of the year.

Every year I come up with a few resolutions. Lose weight, become more organized, convince The Man we should take Salsa lessons... and every year I fail.

This year I'm going to make some similar resolutions and I have the utmost optimism that 2012 is my year. So behold my list:

2012 New Years Resolutions:

1. Become more organized. It's no secret that I'm about as disorganized as they come. But I am getting better. No, really, I am!  My kids have only been late to school this year once and it was only because my alarm clock was set for 7 PM instead of 7 AM. I did set the alarm, so it can't be blamed on disorganization. Just plain stupidity, really.  So this year I plan to make schedules and stick to at least half of them. This would be epic.

2. Eat vegan whenever possible. I've posted about it before. And I have no problem with vegan food. I love my veggies and I don't even have a problem with most vegan cheese. But it's my family, y'all. They have problems when I try to take all the animals out of their diet. They're all "Mom, can we please get hot dogs at the store?" and "Not beans and rice, again, mom!"  So I break down. I buy the stuff and inevitably I eat the stuff. But this year, I'm going to really buckle down. I'm not going to be militant about it, though. If I find myself as a guest at someone's table I'm not going to turn down a meal they've made for me if it includes meat. If I'm at a birthday party at a restaurant that offers no vegan options, I won't sit quietly drinking iced tea with lemon. But I will do my best.

3. Walk my poor dog in the mornings. Sudo needs exercise. I need exercise. Together we will triumph. I've said I was going to do this so many times and I start out really well. Sometimes I go for one, two, even three weeks at a time waking up a bit earlier every morning and taking Sudo for a nice, brisk, cool morning walk.  But then one thing will put me off the schedule and it's all over. And Sudo and my ass both suffer.  So this year, I'm really going to make that effort. Because I love my puppy and my ass is taking on a life of its own.

4. Take a little more care in my appearance. I am the queen of the ponytail and no makeup look. That worked great for me in my teens and twenties, but I'll be turning 35 this year and au natural isn't quite as beautiful as it used to be. So this year I'm going to blow dry my hair every time I shower instead of just crawling into bed with it wet so that it's all strangly flat on one side and horridly frizzy on the other in the morning. I'm going to put on a little eyeliner and mascara and lip gloss before I leave the house and make sure my eyebrows are under control at all times. I'll avoid chipped toenails and keep my hands moisturized. That's probably enough for this year. I certainly won't be turning into glamor mom any time soon.

I think we'll stick to those four solid resolutions. I wouldn't want to overwhelm myself.  Happy New Year, y'all!

If this place ever goes out of business I will seriously cry tears of pure misery...

We live in a very rural part of South Florida. We've got one gas station, one grocery store, and a good 15 minute drive to anything resembling a real shopping situation.

There are times when I lament that 15 minute drive. Like, when the kids have a birthday party to go to right down the street but I have to drive all the way "in to town" to pick up a birthday gift. Or when I have to find a replacement tree stand 5 days before Christmas. You're getting the idea.

But most of the time I absolutely love where we live. I love that we still have roadside stands for all kinds of things from dreamcatchers to cheesecakes. I love that when I go to the grocery store people smile and say hi. I love that my kids go to a good school where all the teachers know them. I love that Bug fishes in canals with his friend who lives right up the street and Munchkin can ride horses all day long just a few minutes away.

And lately, I love our new U Pick It farm.

There was always a U Pick It farm located there, but before it was just strawberries. And it was just U Pick It. Now some new owners have renovated the place and it's all kinds of veggies and herbs and everything you could ever want. And you don't have to pick it yourself, they have a little market.

I went there for the first time about a month ago and I was blown away by everything they had. Almost everything is grown right there on the farm, but they bring in other stuff they can't grow, too. I picked up locally grown lettuce, cucumbers, tomatoes, and watermelon. I also grabbed some apples and grapes. I think my total was something like $8. Which is so amazing I almost cried.

Since then I haven't bought any produce at Publix. It's all from the U Pick It farm. And I am a happy happy camper. Saturday I stopped in after their posted closing time and they were happy to let me shop. I hadn't seen any fresh herbs in the market before so I asked the wonderful lady who runs the market if she had any. She was happy to walk across the farm and snip me some fresh basil and parsley. I can't even explain to you how amazing those herbs smelled in my van. I nearly stuck my head in the bag. And the bruschetta I made with those herbs and the fresh tomatoes I bought at the same time? TO DIE FOR.

So when they had a Ladybug Release party last weekend I was geared up to go release some ladybugs on the farm. Evidently, ladybugs eat other bugs that are harmful to the crops. So they invited the community to come out and help them release a whole giant mega mess of ladybugs.


When we walked outside of the market the kids were each handed a brown paper sack full of ladybugs.

After all of our ladybugs were free as cheezy bread, we decided to walk around and look at the other parts of the farm. I was really eager to see what else was growing in there since we had only been in the strawberry portion. So we wandered a bit to see what we could find.

 

 Just before we went into the market to purchase an apple for Munchkin and a few honeysticks for The Man and the kids, we stopped at the bounce houses that were available for all the kids on ladybug release day.

It was a truly wonderful family day. Perfect weather and a perfect activity. I feel so lucky to have such a wonderful place right down the street. Maybe you have a great farm like this local to you, too. If so, I highly suggest it. Nothing tastes better than produce that's off the plant and on to your table in less than a few hours. And how wonderful to be able to support local businesses like this!

I wonder how many well-intentioned vegans have been driven to meat by the Tofurky...

In a follow up to my previous post, I'll report on how Thanksgiving went with my aversion to eating things that had parents or things that come from things that had parents.

It all started well enough. I decided that instead of just sitting at the table eating green beans and rolls while everyone else told me how wonderful the turkey tasted, I'd go ahead and make myself a mock turkey out of tofu. I found a recipe, made a grocery list, and almost bought all of it.

B2 and I went to the grocery store together and in the produce section next to the tofu was a Tofurky... already packaged and stuffed for $12.99. Since the kitchen was going to be a bit monopolized, we figured this was a great alternative and we added it to the cart.

I also purchased the ingredients for a vegan pumpkin pie and made it along with the regular pumpkin pie, pecan pie, and Jello Heath Bar Pudding Pie (which I hear was fantastic). I even attempted a coconut whipped cream topping for it, but that failed miserably. I'll have to try it again some other time.

The good news is the vegan pumpkin pie was fantastic. I even forgot to add the brown sugar and it was still delicious.

The bad news is that it would take a vat of cranberry sauce and four more glasses of wine to make that Tofurky edible. I sincerely apologize to Turtle Island Foods who makes the Tofurky Roast, because I know they have the best of intentions and I'm sure they did their very best to make it taste as good as possible.

But it is not tasty. The Tofurky Roast, in fact, was the one thing this Thanksgiving that truly made me want to eat meat. I don't know if it would have been better if I had made my own stuffed tofu roast... but I tell you this, I'm a lot more hesitant to try after taking a couple of bites of that Tofurky. I would venture to say that the Tofurky is the reason a lot of vegans don't stay that way.

It wasn't just the taste... but the smell... I can't even describe it. You'd have to go out and purchase one and smell it yourself. And I don't recommend doing so.

I wasn't a perfect vegan on Thanksgiving. I did not eat the turkey or the gravy (though I'm sure that gravy would have improved the taste of my Tofurky), but I did have some of B2's amazing stuffed mushrooms that contained sausage and I had a generous helping of the stuffing that my brother-in-law soaked in chicken broth. It was delicious like you can't imagine. I ate B1's mashed potatoes that probably have my arteries clogging as I type this and they tasted heavenly and I even put some cool whip on top of my vegan pumpkin pie since my coconut whipped topping was a failure.  Baby steps.

I have a month to figure out how I'm going to handle Christmas (the food of choice for Christmas in my family is a standing rib roast, potatoes cooked in heavy cream and garlic, and asparagus smothered in Bearnaise sauce... we keep paramedics standing by) and I'll spend some of this month researching recipes that I can bring along with me to share. Perhaps a creamy butternut squash soup? We shall see.

The Spaz questions Thanksgiving, her morality, & cranberry sauce

Over the past several years I've been an on again, off again vegetarian, vegan, pescatarian, etc. I go back and forth, struggling with my morality and my love of cheese and my hatred of my ever expanding ass. In the end I always come back to the fact that I don't like the meat industry. I don't like any industry that causes harm to any living creature. 


So where am I now?

I'm not going to try to classify myself. I guess I'll just say I'm doing the best I can. I'm trying to be mindful of what I buy, what I eat, and what my role in it all is. I'm trying to be honest with myself.

And honesty isn't always easy, especially when it's yourself you have to be honest with.


Every once in a while someone recommends a documentary or a website or something that reinforces my decision to try not to contribute to these industries. Someone posts a link or talks about it in passing conversation and I think to myself... oh no, I'm going to watch this or read this and I'm going to have more information and more moral dilemma.


Most recently it was Food, Inc. and Forks Not Knives. Both of these are incredible films that really have opened my eyes to what I'm really feeding my family and myself. They're also both available on Netflix and I can't recommend them enough.


In this time in history, we have so much education about food and the reality of what goes on in the meat industry. We have a wealth of information right at our fingertips about everything, really. It seems irresponsible to just shut my eyes and buy a package of ground beef at the grocery store when I know that I'm really buying a package of cruelty.

I hear people reason with me... or maybe with themselves... about how industry standards have improved or the cow doesn't think like you and I do or how all those films are sponsored by radical groups like PETA.

The industry is one that kills animals. Let's be honest with ourselves. They're not bringing Bessie into a nice, calm barn after she's lived a happy life grazing in the field and giving her a sedative so she falls into a happy, dreamy sleep before she's painlessly euthanized far away from any other cows that might witness the deed.

It's slaughter. There's a reason why they call it a slaughterhouse. It's scary, it's painful, and it's ugly.

And I really don't want to be a part of that.

I type this in the wee hours of the morning on the day before Thanksgiving. A day when I'll attend family functions where more than one turkey will be served, perhaps a pig, an overload of dairy products and probably a few chicken or cow parts thrown around, too. There was even talk this year about getting a Turducken. That's right. Why just kill one animal for our glutenous celebration when we can kill three and tie them all together!

And I'll be a part of it this year. I can't save the turkey that's being served at my in-law's or the one that's being served at my mom and dad's house. They're both already purchased and defrosting in a sink somewhere as I type.

This year I'll make pies. Pumpkin, Pecan, and Chocolate. And they'll contain evaporated milk and eggs and whatever they put in those Pillsbury refrigerated pie crusts.*  We'll top them with whipped cream and everyone will be joyous and merry.


What will I eat? I don't know. Perhaps I'll try to pick around and do the best I can with my options. Maybe I'll try to make a vegan pumpkin pie and top it with some coconut whipped cream. Perhaps I can find a couple of side dishes that aren't accented with bacon or heavy cream or cheese or italian sausage. There's a slim chance. I can have cranberry sauce, right? Or I might just have a couple of glasses of wine and dig in.



Maybe I'll try to bring a couple of vegan things along with me and hope that my family will give them a try and maybe, just maybe, not ridicule me too much for being "such a hippie" or just plain difficult.


It's not just outside of the home that I feel like I'm fighting the battle. It's within my own home, too. The Man is opposed to eating anything that doesn't involve things that had parents. Sure, he'll choke down a salad before his steak as long as it's got some creamy dressing, parmesan cheese, and bacon bits. He'll eat broccoli covered in melted cheddar. Asparagus? Bring on the Bearnaise sauce!


And the kids think they're being punished if they don't have cheese pizza, macaroni & cheese, grilled cheese, or cheeseburgers on a regular basis.


It's a constant battle. With the people I love and with myself.  The last time I really went for a long stretch without meat, I cried because I wanted a hot dog so badly it hurt. Of all the things in the world, it was a hot dog that broke me.


So I'll try again. I'll do my best and if I fail I'll just pick myself up and try again.


Happy Thanksgiving, y'all. I truly hope you have a wonderful day filled with family and friends and laughter and love and all that makes a holiday wonderful. I know I will.


*Partially Hydrogenated Lard - mmmmm... pig fat pie. I can't wait!

Not Fasting

To answer Robin I have to say "No... the juice fast does NOT make you stop being hungry."

I was doing great. Really, I was. Just sipping my juice, feeling great, ignoring my hunger. Until it came time to make dinner. This is where the fasting always bites me in the butt. I was weak, I was starving.

I decided to make them all Chicken Piccata on homemade pasta. I was doing okay as I added the eggs and flour into the mixer to make the dough. I was fine all the way up until I cut those beautiful strips of soft pasta. Oh pasta, how I love thee.

They were so very soft, such a beautiful light tan color, so very perfect were my strips of linguine.

And then came the chicken. Browned so perfectly on the stove, even the fact that I am a practicing vegetarian didn't stop my mouth from watering. I could smell the lemon sauce, the butter... I think one of the capers winked at me.

It was the garlic rolls that put me over the edge. They were glistening in the oven, wafting a luscious garlic into my nose and tempting me... teasing me... I swear, I think I may have been drooling.

Before I knew it I was heating up some fake chicken strips and fixing myself a plate. I was on autopilot... and I ate... and it was so good.

So yes, Robin, I was still hungry. I failed in my juice fast... and I think I've learned a lesson. You see, I've been studying Buddhism so much lately and have specifically focused on The Middle Way which to me, is really the foundation of Buddhism. It smacked me in the face after I sat on the couch, my belly full of scrumptious linguine and Chik'N... fasting is not The Middle Way. Fasting is an extreme. Fasting is not what my body wants, it does not make me strong, it does not help me.

So I'm not fasting anymore... I'm just plain going to eat right. I haven't outlined my plan completely yet... but I will soon and I'll post my guidelines. :)