I will be SO PISSED if this all works out and then the world blows up at the end of the year.

Every year I come up with a few resolutions. Lose weight, become more organized, convince The Man we should take Salsa lessons... and every year I fail.

This year I'm going to make some similar resolutions and I have the utmost optimism that 2012 is my year. So behold my list:

2012 New Years Resolutions:

1. Become more organized. It's no secret that I'm about as disorganized as they come. But I am getting better. No, really, I am!  My kids have only been late to school this year once and it was only because my alarm clock was set for 7 PM instead of 7 AM. I did set the alarm, so it can't be blamed on disorganization. Just plain stupidity, really.  So this year I plan to make schedules and stick to at least half of them. This would be epic.

2. Eat vegan whenever possible. I've posted about it before. And I have no problem with vegan food. I love my veggies and I don't even have a problem with most vegan cheese. But it's my family, y'all. They have problems when I try to take all the animals out of their diet. They're all "Mom, can we please get hot dogs at the store?" and "Not beans and rice, again, mom!"  So I break down. I buy the stuff and inevitably I eat the stuff. But this year, I'm going to really buckle down. I'm not going to be militant about it, though. If I find myself as a guest at someone's table I'm not going to turn down a meal they've made for me if it includes meat. If I'm at a birthday party at a restaurant that offers no vegan options, I won't sit quietly drinking iced tea with lemon. But I will do my best.

3. Walk my poor dog in the mornings. Sudo needs exercise. I need exercise. Together we will triumph. I've said I was going to do this so many times and I start out really well. Sometimes I go for one, two, even three weeks at a time waking up a bit earlier every morning and taking Sudo for a nice, brisk, cool morning walk.  But then one thing will put me off the schedule and it's all over. And Sudo and my ass both suffer.  So this year, I'm really going to make that effort. Because I love my puppy and my ass is taking on a life of its own.

4. Take a little more care in my appearance. I am the queen of the ponytail and no makeup look. That worked great for me in my teens and twenties, but I'll be turning 35 this year and au natural isn't quite as beautiful as it used to be. So this year I'm going to blow dry my hair every time I shower instead of just crawling into bed with it wet so that it's all strangly flat on one side and horridly frizzy on the other in the morning. I'm going to put on a little eyeliner and mascara and lip gloss before I leave the house and make sure my eyebrows are under control at all times. I'll avoid chipped toenails and keep my hands moisturized. That's probably enough for this year. I certainly won't be turning into glamor mom any time soon.

I think we'll stick to those four solid resolutions. I wouldn't want to overwhelm myself.  Happy New Year, y'all!

Saying Goodbye to my 1 AM rendezvous with Facebook...

So, I've always had high hopes of being one of those people that awakes, smiling, at the first crack of light in the sky. The person who can happily stretch and put on their running shoes and go for a nice morning jog before anyone else in their house has opened an eye.

I've attempted it. I even had a good, two week stretch where I woke up every morning at about 6:30 and took the dog for a 2 mile walk. The something got me off track and that was the end of that. The dog gets a morning shuffle around the yard from me these days and then gets ushered back into the house so I can get the kids to school on time.

They say that successful people are morning people. I have never succeeded at changing myself into a morning person.  But I've done some research and discovered that it is, indeed, possible to change from a night owl to a morning person.  So, in the name of The Organization Project and my poor, neglected dog, I'm going to try.  This is officially Step 1 of The Organization Project.



I know, I'm such a font dork.

In my research, I've learned that genetics really does play a big part in whether a person is a morning person or a night owl. This article was pretty eye opening to the idea that it's all my mom and dad's fault that I'm like this.

Mom and Dad are not morning people.  My whole life they got up in the mornings and did what they had to do... but mornings in our home were not cheery occasions.  My father is not even human until he's had a few sips of coffee, but he knows the value of being awake in the mornings and therefore has always been up at a respectable hour.  When I was in elementary school, my mother bought me a loud alarm clock and made sure I knew how to get to school on my own every morning, rather than pull herself out of bed at the ghastly hour it would have required to see me off to school.

So I'm fairly sure that the "morning person" gene is not in my system.

So, like my parents, I'm going to have to train myself to be a morning person. Everything I've read has said pretty much the same things. Do not hit snooze, prepare the night before, get outside and take a walk first thing, do not take naps, turn off computers and televisions 2 hours before bedtime, don't exercise in the evenings, and don't drink caffeine or alcohol late in the day.

Right, drink all my booze in the mornings.

Just kidding.

Some other tips I thought were helpful were to give myself something to look forward to in the morning, use an alarm clock that lights the room slowly (I actually have one of those that I never use), take a melatonin supplement 4 hours before bedtime, take a warm shower or bath before bed, and keep the bedroom at a cool 70 degrees (which may cost a fortune in South Florida... so we'll see about that).

So, beginning Sunday night, I'll be putting Step 1 of The Organization Project to work.  I'll make sure I have all of our clothes laid out and ready for Monday and everything ready to go for the day. At 6:30 I'll take my melatonin and I'll turn off the computers and the TV by 8. I'll take a warm bath and snuggle up in bed with my nook (on night setting, of course) and if all goes well I'll be in dreamland by 10:30.

Wish me luck, Internetz. I'll need it.

The Spaz considers that being a Spaz might not be the best thing ever...

The other day I woke up a teensy bit late and knew I'd probably not make it to school on time with the kids. If the kids arrive to school a second after 8:00, parents are required to park their cars, walk their children into the office, sign them in, and personally escort them to their classrooms. They say it's because it takes too many resources to have someone else walk the kids to their classrooms (why the children can't walk themselves to their classes, I'm not sure) but I'm fairly certain it has more to do with punishing late parents than anything else.

So anyhow, I woke up at 7:30 instead of my usual 7:00.  Recently I've adopted a pretty laid back approach to being late. I used to shoot out of bed and scramble around, yelling and screaming for the kids to get their backpacks and shoes and "HURRY HURRY HURRY!!!"

And then one morning I woke up really late. Like, after 8:00.  And there was no point to all the freaking out and running around so I just calmly woke up the kids, fed them, got them dressed, and off we went.  It was so much nicer.

So I'm much calmer about being late now. It doesn't happen very often... in fact the other day was only the 2nd time the kids have been late all year. But when it does happen, we just get there when we get there. I don't freak out about it anymore.

So I'm signing the kids in the other morning and I sort of laugh at the spot on the sign in sheet where it says "Reason for Tardiness"... I noticed that the time before I had written "Overslept" and that's what I went ahead and put in again... but I laughed and remarked to the office secretary that one time I was going to write in that spot "Utter lack of organization" because that was really the real reason we were late.

And she just cocked an eyebrow and said "Okayyyy......." and took a sip out of her shiny magenta travel mug.

So I muttered under my breath, but loud enough that she could hear "I guess someone left their sense of humor at home today."

She has never really liked me much. I guess I don't really care.

But after I dropped them off I started thinking about my "Utter lack of organization" and I realized that as the kids get older, my disorganization is more difficult to deal with. The kids have busier lives, which in turn makes my life busier, and they require a lot more from me.  And, frankly, I'm letting them down by not being prepared.

So I'm going to start something new. And I'm so serious about it, I've made pretty supporting graphics.

I haven't gotten all the kinks worked out just yet. But I know where I'm starting so that's a plus. I'll be posting more details about The Organization Project in the next few days. My official start date will be Monday, May 9th.

Stay tuned, handful of readers.  The Spaz is attempting to get a little less spastic.

What's the big deal about organization anyway? Maybe he's just creative...

Today I had a parent/teacher conference with Goober's teacher. I dread parent/teacher conferences. Before my kids were of school age, I never thought I'd be the mom who hated parent/teacher conferences... but alas, things are never what you expect when it comes to children.

The first thing I hate about conferences is the fact that they're always scheduled at 7:30 in the morning.  I typically get the kids to school around this time (they don't have to be there until 8, but Munchkin demands socialization time) so it's not as if I'm not awake.  It's that I'm not awake.

At 7:30 the coffee has not had a chance to work its way through my system. It is all I can do to drive the kids to school without veering into a ditch and the kids' teachers expect me to be wide eyed, bushy tailed, dressed in something other than pajamas, and ready to listen to them tell me my kid sucks criticize my parenting tell me I suck talk about my child's strengths and weaknesses.

So yeah, that's the first thing I hate about parent/teacher conferences.

The second thing I hate about them is that they consistently tell me the same things that I've already read in notes, or noticed myself, or heard from other people already.  And I want to ask them why it's important that I come in and listen to them tell me these things to my face so I can bask in the humiliation of it all in person.

I can remember back to Bug's first parent/teacher conference in kindergarten.  It was no big deal.  Because, really, in kindergarten as long as your child doesn't eat paste or stab the other children with dull scissors, it's pretty much no big deal.  I figured we were off to a great start with school and patted myself on the back for a parenting job well done.

Unfortunately, things have changed over the years. I'm now fully aware that Bug is slow when it comes to writing, that he's disorganized, that he's melancholy, that he forgets to turn in assignments.  I know that Munchkin talks too much in class, has a hard time when she doesn't get her way, and can be bossy.  Shocking!

Today's conference wasn't all that bad.  Goober's in first grade now and I've learned that the conferences really don't start to get rough until about third grade.  But I did get to hear how polite he is, how he's disorganized, and how he's a strong reader.  Like a criticism sandwich.  They must hold teacher seminars on how to have these conferences because it always goes like that.  Compliment, criticize, compliment, sign paper, check.

The thing is, these are things I already know.  Yes, Goober is disorganized.  He's messy.  He's the kid who jams papers in his backpack sans folder and forgets to give me permission slips until the day before the field trip when his teacher finally threatens that he'll have to sit in the office while the rest of the class goes to the zoo.  I know all of these things.  He's like that everywhere.

Just once I'd like to sit down with their teacher and act shocked.

But Goober's room is spotless at home! He asked for file folders and a label printer for his birthday! We forced those LEGOs on him in an attempt to get him to think outside the box.

Yes, I know my kid is disorganized.  It's probably my fault because I'm disorganized.  Or maybe that's just how he is.  Maybe he's going to be an artist or a musician and his right brain is just too dominant for him to bother with petty little details like paperwork and color coded folders.

Or maybe he's just a disaster. But either way, I know.

Goober has two teachers.  One is considered his "homeroom" teacher and is where he reports in the morning and learns science and math.  The other teaches him reading and writing.  They played good cop, bad cop with me this morning.  His homeroom teacher told me how polite he is and how he hugs her and how he wants to please.  The reading teacher told me how he daydreams too much and how he won't finish assignments because he is scatter brained.  Then his homeroom teacher told me how he's so smart and above grade level.

Criticism sandwich, with two chefs.

And I smiled and nodded and signed. Check.

WFMW

Yesterday I discovered many new and wonderful blogs to add to my procrastination problem read for daily enlightenment. Robin at Around The Island linked to Rocks in My Dryer today which introduced me to (insert drumroll here) Works For Me Wednesday.

Honestly, if every blogger was required to do a WFMW we'd all be in better shape. Imagine combining the tips of people all over the world. Someone should write a book. Wait, has anyone written a book yet?

For my own WFMW I'm going to feature my new hand drawn notebook planner. Every year I head out to the store to get a planner. Half way (or sometimes sooner) through the year it is abandoned because the darned thing (a) didn't have enough room for me to write in it, (b) was too bulky to carry around, or (c) was destroyed in some freak kid accident.

So this year I made my own. I made it just how I like it in a notebook that leaves me plenty of room to write with Saturday and Sunday having JUST AS MUCH room as any other day (because seriously, I'm a MOM... these days are often busier than the weekdays) and still fits in my purse. Rock on.

Here's the cover. As you can see I have stolen some of Munchkin's Lisa Frank stickers that Santa put in her stocking. The 12 year old in me lives on.



Here's my month view. I put these at the beginning of each month instead of all grouped together like I usually see them. Works for me, yanno?



Finally, the all important week view.



So that's it. ;)

In other news, I did not get sick last night. Yay! However, Goober evidently lost his dinner all over his pillow last night while sleeping.... and did not wake up and let me know. Anti Yay.

So today we have two sickies at home. Bug has a boy scout meeting tonight and afterward we're picking up six (!!) cases of Girl Scout cookies to sell for Munchkin. Yowza. Maybe I should have them all wear surgical masks. Or take their vitamins! Does anyone have a WFMW on how to get kids to take their vitamins? It's not like I can just shove it in a ball of raw hamburger like the dog.