There are times, and those times seem to be coming more frequently than they used to, when I have a strong desire to be able to control my environment.
Having three kids and a dog make that almost impossible. This causes me great amounts of stress.
See, I just want everything to be still. I want everyone to stop moving. I want there to be no noises, no changes in light, no phones ringing, no 9-year-old boy sound effects being made, no tattling, nothing.
I want to be able to sit with my thoughts and think them.
And it really makes me sad that I want it so badly, because it prevents me from enjoying my family as much as I should.
Perhaps I should look into prescription drugs? Happy pills anyone?
Thursday, September 17, 2009
If I could just get a few minutes, I might not rip their heads off as often...
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4 comments:
I sympathise with you. I feel like this quite often, when I need complete silence and stillness. It's quite normal I think, especially when you can't just walk away or have complete control over your surroundings. Don't know whether you were joking about the happy pills but I was on sertraline/zoloft after my girl was born and I feel like it caused more problems with all the side effects. Time is what you need, if you are able to be patient that is!
This is why i loved your crazy hectic life, i can act five and fit in!! just joking, but i still loved your house.
I feel your pain. And I take "happy pills" but they honestly don't help that issue much.
I love and crave quiet. Before I worked nights, I used to stay up long after everyone else was in bed, getting things done and just soaking up the quiet.
Oh, I remember those days so very well. Hang in there, believe me before you know it, you will have the quiet, you will be packing them off to college and thinking, " Wow, I blinked and they grew up"
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