Return of the Spaz

Okay, so I haven't posted in almost 3 weeks. I'm alive, really. I've just been doing stuff. Sorry, y'all. I'll try to never leave you for so long again. :)

To recap the last few weeks I'll try to be brief. I probably won't be successful, though. :)

December 23rd - You can read about the dog here. Later that day we left the dog (who we barely knew) in the house while we ran out to the store to pick up a last minute Christmas gift. The dog evidently freaked out while we were gone. No real damage was done but we learned that the dog had a bit of separation anxiety. The Man decided "Marley" was not a good name for the dog and the dog was thus unnamed and mostly called "Puppy" by the kids.

December 24th - Christmas Eve - We had to get The Man's dad to babysit the dog while we drove to Orlando to have dinner at my sister's house. We followed the directions that The Man's GPS gave us and got sort of lost in Orlando. Which seems to be a theme for us every time we go there. So we were late. But whatever.

December 25th - Christmas Day - Somehow the kids let us sleep in until almost 10 AM. They must have been so exhausted from the night before. It is the only Christmas Day so far that the sun has gotten up before the kids. Yee haw. We took the unnamed dog with us to The Man's aunt's house where everyone gave him lots of love and attention and about three billion names were suggested.

December 26th to December 30th - The kids begged me to take them to Toys R Us so they could spend whatever money they had received as Christmas presents. I found myself hopelessly addicted to Guitar Hero, so much so that I found myself playing with hand cramps at 4:00 AM while everyone else was asleep.

December 31st - New Years Eve - The kids went to party with their cousins and The Man and I ate chicken wings and cheese and fruit and drank champagne in our family room while watching the ball drop. We also played a few rounds of air hockey on the new air hockey table that his dad got us for Christmas. He beat me every time, as usual.

January 1st - We dragged the kids home and I attempted to put the house back together. I was unsuccessful.

January 2nd - We again took the kids (and the dog) to The Man's cousin's house so they could play with their cousins while we went for a Russian themed dinner at my aunt's house. My aunt outdid herself and all the food was great and we really had a lot of fun. My 97 year old grandmother was a bit confused at all the commotion.

January 3rd - The Man named the dog "Sudo" which has something to do with computers. People assume we mean "Pseudo" when we say his name. We had a birthday party for my youngest niece who turned 4 this month. Munchkin finally got the hang of riding her bike without training wheels and I sort of cried a little watching her go. She rubbed it in her siblings faces pretty well, though, which dried up my tears.

January 4th and January 5th - I tried to stay away from Guitar Hero and put the house back together. I was unsuccessful.

January 6th - The kids went back to school and I went to traffic court. Back in August I received a speeding ticket and The Man pulled some strings and arranged for the officer who wrote the ticket to dismiss the charges. All I had to do was show up to court and walk up to said officer before the session started and introduce myself so he knew who I was. Except I couldn't remember what the officer looked like. At all. All I knew was his name. So I attempted to read all of the name badges on each of the officer's who were hanging out in the hall outside of the courtroom before the session and I couldn't find him. I was a little panicked and hoped maybe he just hadn't showed up. Then I heard another officer call to him. "Hey Rogers!" My officer had been holding his clipboard over his name badge the whole time. He was the one officer I couldn't read. I introduced myself and he asked the court to drop the charges. It was a beautiful thing.

January 7th and January 8th - I tried to stay away from Guitar Hero and put the house back together. I was unsuccessful. Oh, and our fridge officially died.

January 9th - The Man and I took Sudo to the dog park to play with other dogs. He had a tremendous amount of fun and I was constantly paranoid he would try to mate with a female dog.

January 10th - I made an appointment to have the dog neutered and chipped and vaccinated.

January 11th - Sudo escaped and did not come home. The kids cried. I drove around and searched for him. Finally around 10 pm I looked on the Animal Care & Control website and saw his dopey picture up there.

January 12th - I went down to Animal Care & Control when they opened and attempted to get the dog back. Unfortunately they deemed that the dog was not legally mine and his "real owner" could still come claim him. So poor Sudo was kept imprisoned in doggie jail. We were allowed to place a "source adoption" on him so when his 5 days is up they'll neuter, chip, and vaccinate him and we'll be allowed to take him home.

January 13th - I got into a minor altercation with another car in a parking lot. I was pulling into a spot when the guy next to me opened his car door while I was still moving into the spot. Crunch.

Said guy's wife claims this is my fault because I was still moving when it happened. Police report has their name first. No one got a ticket. The Man and I planned to fix the damages on our own and their damage was not even able to be seen.

January 14th - I found another matching (and working) fridge on craigslist for a super bargain. We packed up the kids and again drove them to The Man's cousin's house so we could drive down to Davie to pick up the bargain fridge. We dropped them all off and then we needed to put the seats from the van into her garage to fit the fridge in the van. I tripped over an uneven part of the walkway. It was one of those trips where you think you can just take a couple of quick steps and recover, yanno?

Except I couldn't... but once I had already taken a couple of quick steps I was sort of committed to my plan of trying to recover the trip. So I sort of tried to jump for the recover. Except that didn't work and therefore I had to sort of run to recover. Except that didn't work so I sort of ran into the van. Hard. With my face... and neck... and chest... and more. And then I hit the ground. And then I couldn't breathe. And The Man thought maybe I had broken my neck. And then when he realized I was going to live he asked me... "What the hell was that?!!"

And we laughed.

And laughing hurt.

And then we had to go move a fridge.

On the way down to pick up the fridge I get a call from parking lot accident guy's wife who tells me that it rained last night and rain got into their car because the door is off. Would I like to get a copy of the estimate myself or would I like her to just submit it to my insurance? I used my standard "I need to talk to my husband" excuse and got off the phone with her.

Today - I feel like I've been hit by a car. Except for I feel like the car hit me, not the other way around. The Man is disappointed he didn't get it all on tape since he swears we could win the $10,000 from funniest home videos. He keeps laughing... but I don't think it's very funny today.

I still have to deal with accident in the parking lot lady but I'm calling my insurance company first. Good times.