100 Day Challenge - Day 16

So yesterday's post wasn't very positive, was it? :)

To be honest, my 100 day challenge hasn't been going perfectly. I've stumbled along the way of optimism and I'm picking myself back up today.

A few reasons why I stopped practicing the Law of Attraction over the past couple of weeks:

1. The Teenager abruptly moved in with us, causing my focus to shift immediately. It's been a bit of a distraction but I think things might be becoming a little more normal... maybe.

How I'm spinning this with optimism? The Teenager has already provided The Man and I with one fantabulous date, which we would have otherwise never had. We went to dinner and a movie and I completely forgot how incredibly important it is to feel like a real person and not just a mom. I almost don't care that Bug didn't get to sleep until 10:30 that night and it was a school night because that date was so worth it. The Teenager is also teaching me acceptance and patience... something I'm sure I'm going to need when my own kids turn into teenagers, right?

2. My arch nemesis, insomnia, has been winning many of our most recent battles. Never fear, though, dear readers, I will win the war.

Last night I took melatonin and got almost 6 full hours of sleep, only interrupted once that I can remember. Though this may sound like a normal person's bad night of sleep, I am thrilled. I'm fairly certain that I can shoot for even more sleep tonight and as soon as my body gets used to sleeping at a normal time I think I'll sleep straight through.

3. Summer is approaching and causing me anxiety. I have no plans for summer camps for the kids because I can't seem to justify spending thousands of dollars a month to entertain them all when both The Man and I are home. Therefore, I must plan some actual activities for them and this is giving me agita.

4. My house is chaotic. It was chaotic before The Teenager moved in but it's even more so now. My office has been her bedroom for over a week and I still haven't gotten my new office (the living room) organized. The Man and I still haven't put about a trillion boxes up in the attic, either. However, since I'm so well rested today and plan to continue this well restedness indefinitely, I'm confident that The Man and I will triumph against chaos.

A little sleep, a little meditation, and a little scheduling and I know it'll all be okay.

And winning this wouldn't suck, either. ;)

Blog posts should not be written when delirious

Okay y'all. I seriously need a cure for my insomnia. I'm tired.

Seriously.

And don't tell me to not take naps in the afternoon because when you don't sleep all night and you realize you might be able to catch just a little bit of sleep in between 11 AM and 2 PM you do it. You do it because if you don't do it you may just bite someone's head off or fall asleep standing up in the kitchen over a hot stove. Or drive the car into a canal. I sleep when I can make myself sleep.

I laid down to go to sleep around 12:00 AM. I wasn't really tired so I read a bit... until maybe 1:00. Then I tried to go to sleep but sleep would not come so I got up and made The Man a sandwich. I laid back down. I thought maybe I just couldn't sleep because I had so much going on in my head that I should make a list of the things I needed to do so I could get them out of my head.

So I made a list.

And then I laid back down.

I almost fell asleep at one point and then the dog whined and I was awake again.

Around 2:30 The Man decided he was tired and came to bed. I thought for sure I'd be able to sleep then.

Nothing.

I tossed and turned until quarter to 4 when I finally decided to just get the heck up. Getting 2 hours of sleep wouldn't be good for me anyhow.

I read Bossy's Family Tree from beginning to end and every other blog in my blog reader and now it's nearly 6 AM and I'll be getting the kids up for school in 1/2 hour and driving all over creation.

I am tired, blogosphere. I want to sleep. This has been going on for months, my friends... and I need it to stop. In the beginning I was taking melatonin... which worked... but only if I took it making sure I had a full 8 hours to sleep or else I wouldn't wake up in the morning. Now I'm a little afraid my body has stopped producing its own melatonin altogether and I'll forever be cursed with no sleep.

I'm tired... and being tired is not conducive to positive thinking!