Saturday, April 2, 2016

The Spaz deals with teenagers

School has been kicking my ass, y'all. I'm just about 1 month away from my final final and I've barely had time to breathe, much less keep up with my blog or my life or the laundry. It has literally been a day to day process of making sure I'm not screwing up something since classes started back in August.

But today I will take a few minutes to catch up here because it's been forever and this blog is like an old friend who always loves me, no matter how long I neglect it.

Back when I started this blog in 2007, I had these three amazing little kids. Goober was 4, Munchkin was 6, and Bug was almost 8. They were sweet and loving and writing about them was easy. Here we are almost 9 years later and things have changed. We're in teenager land right now and sometimes I feel like they're killing me.

I can't say no one ever told me. I can firmly remember when I had three in diapers and people would say things like "You think it's tough now! Just wait til they're all teenagers." Side note - to anyone thinking of saying some stupid crap like this to a struggling mom, just shut your damn mouth. You're not helping her.

But even with all the warnings, I don't think I was ever really prepared for teenagers. Bug was seriously the sweetest boy - and that sweet boy is still there, I get glimpses of him all the time - but my sweet boy is all buried in crazy stupid hormones and angst. Munchkin, at 14 years old, has been giving me hell, too (teenage girl attitude is some serious business, y'all), but it's Bug that has me really concerned.

Between the failing grades, the sleeping at every chance he gets (except for during normal sleeping hours, of course), the laziness, the defiance, the obsession with girls, and the attachment to his computer - The Man and I are grasping at straws as to how to handle him.

It's to the point where we are seriously considering sending him to military school next year. We've found a "reasonably priced" one in South Carolina - where reasonable is still more than many full time employed Americans make in a year - and it's on the table for discussion at this point. And I am a ball of mixed emotions about it. On one hand, I think it is the best thing we could ever do for Bug. He's so intelligent and has so much potential to be the greatest man. He needs structure and discipline in a way that I just can't provide. I know he would thrive with some successes and I really believe this school would provide him with those successes. On the other hand, he's my baby and I am not prepared to send him 600 miles away yet. I thought I had a couple more years before I'd be sending one of my little chickens to school.

We went to an open house that the school was having here locally last week and it was all I could do not to break into tears while sitting there listening to a very nice gentleman tell us about the day to day rituals of the school. I know that as much as I want Bug to be responsible and as much as I think he needs the discipline that a school like this can provide - I know that if we choose to send Bug to this school next year he will return to us having lost a lot of that sweet boyish nature he has right now.

I'm totally not ready.


Ella said...[Reply to comment]

I stumbled on your blog quite a while back and enjoy reading.... I too have thought about sending my son away for school, and it's a heart-wrenching decision. My son has been diagnosed with Aspergers and ADHD, and has always struggled with "regular" school... multiple suspensions every year, threats of expulsion, bullying, academic failures, the whole bit. And so I understand your dilemma. Maybe a special boarding school for kids with similar challenges would be good for him - there are some great ones out there (at a great price of course) - but the idea of not seeing my baby every day puts a lump in my throat and literally squeezes my heart. I can't stand the thought of not having dinner with him every night, not seeing his smiling face at the breakfast table, even missing his daily squabbles with his sister or simply watching him play with the dog every day. But, am I doing what's best for me or what's best for him? I still don't know, and I continue to ask the question. For now, we are trudging along at the "regular" school, making the best of it, until we feel there's no more best to be made. Best of luck to you. Whatever choice you make - it will be the right one.