Mindfulness is hard, y'all.
It's probably the single most important skill I need to have to be a successful human being and yet it's what I have the most trouble with.
Our society seems to glorify those that have mastered the art of multi-tasking. Doing just one thing at a time is so unproductive. And I've fallen into that trap. While I'm grateful for my computer, it has seriously contributed to my attention issues.
I can be in the middle of writing a blog post and my email pops up.
"Hey Spaz - guess what? Someone's asking you something about shirts on Facebook." My computer sounds like Matthew McConaughey in Dazed and Confused when it talks to me. Alright, alright.
Okay, okay. I know. Just let me finish writing this so I don't lose my train of thought.
"I don't know if you should hang on this, sweet thing. They seem pretty impatient. Unlike me. I'll wait for you all day."
Stop flirting Matthew McConaughey. It's been over between us for years. I've moved on.
And then I have to go over to Facebook to answer the question.
21 notifications? I really should check into those. But first I'll answer this question. Oh look, a puppy riding a bicycle!
And before I know it, I'm elbow deep in baby animals, gluten free recipes, and inspirational quotes; I haven't answered any questions and my potential customer already bought their Girl Scout shirts from some chick on Etsy; and I totally forgot what I was blogging about.
This is why I need to practice being mindful and why I thought Vesak Day was going to kick me into mindful overdrive.
It did not. I struggled. Social media down (for the most part), TV off (except for Real Housewives of OC on my lunch break), and focusing on one task at a time.
It was quiet. My head wandered. I got off-track. I faltered. I recentered. I focused. I lost my mind in the deafening quiet. At 3 pm I had to leave the house to pick Goober up from band practice and as I stepped outside into the dank South Florida humidity I felt as if I was being freed from a prison that was my own easily distracted head.
Waiting in the pick up line I clung to my phone and it's connection to social media. I facebooked, I tweeted, I felt my whole body exhale.
I'll get better. No one becomes enlightened overnight.
As an aside, there is an old Vesak tradition of setting captive animals free that I was pretty sure I just wasn't going to be able to participate in. Until our cat found a poor tail-less salamander in the house and decided to torture it. I've decided Mr. Salamander was tail-less before Smeagol got ahold of him yesterday, but I'm probably (definitely) fooling myself. I managed to get Smeagol to drop the poor little guy and I trapped him under a cup and used the old "slide the piece of paper under the cup" trick to take him, the paper, and the cup outside. Be free, Mr. Salamander! Happy Vesak Day to you!