Of the DECADE??!

It's the last day of the decade. Of the decade.

It's been one heck of a decade for me, too. In fact, in the beginning of this decade I was a whole different kind of Spaz. I was a Spaz just starting out on my journey of motherhood and adulthood and responsibility and all that jazz.

I rang in the new decade with a tiny infant not even 1 month old in my arms. I remember that New Years Eve so clearly, too. I sat at Jenny's mom and dad's house on her old bed with one of my oldest friends (who I sadly am not in contact with any longer) and he and I looked at my brand new child in amazement.

I was newly married, young and so very clueless back then. I guess I'm still pretty clueless... less young, though. ;)

Over the last 10 years I've divorced a man who loved himself more than anyone else, found the love of my life in The Man, been lucky enough to be the mother to three incredible children, learned to be a grown up, learned to be a mom and a real partner, figured out a lot about who I really am and learned not to be ashamed of it or apologize for it... and realized that I'm still changing.

I've learned that the only thing that really matters is the people you love and as long as they're around you, everything really will be alright.

I've learned to forgive little grievances and to look at things from other people's point of view. I've seen beauty in places I wouldn't have dreamed I'd see it and ugliness in places I'd never expect it.

I've grown up enough in the past decade to realize I have a lot of growing up left to do.

And I truly believe that the next 10 years are going to be better than I can imagine.

My resolutions for this next year? This next ten years? To live my life without petty worries. To live my life without wondering what someone else is thinking. To experience the things I've always hoped to experience and to learn as much as I can learn.

And to stop playing Farmville.