Why eBay is a zero and Etsy is my hero

I quit.

Sort of. Almost. Pretty much.

I quit eBay. I just plain can't stand it anymore. eBay has become an ugly place. A place where small sellers like me have to work their tails off for very little pay just to get anywhere at all. Or at least that's how my experience has been over the past few years. I know it's not the same for everyone else. I know some super awesome sellers in other parts of the country, even outside of the country, who are doing great with eBay. And that is awesome for them.

It just became too much for me.

As my kids have gotten busier, as my life has gotten crazier. I've found I just couldn't invest as much time into eBay as I used to be able to. People always tell you life is crazy when you have tiny little children, but no one warns you what it's going to be like when they're all in school and they have their own interests and friends and schedules. You think it's going to get easy because they're in school for a few hours every day. And it is, sort of. But it's also not. Because there is homework, projects, scouts, classes, all kinds of avenues of enrichment that you want so badly to allow your child to participate in. Band concerts, award ceremonies, meetings, and tournaments. You get the idea.

But I digress.

My busy life isn't the only reason I'm kicking eBay to the curb. The biggest reason is the stress. eBay has little sellers like me by the short and curlies, if you know what I mean. One dinged star, one red doughnut in our feedback profile, one missing package and our livelihood is threatened.  Not only that, but there is so much competition and the buyers are so willing to nickel and dime every seller, that our profit margins are teenie tiny. One scamming buyer can quite literally take food right out of our children's mouths.

It wasn't until earlier this year that I realized just how much I hated it. The shopping stopped being fun, the photos started to be pure drudgery, the describing, the research... all of it was like one of those jobs you wake up for in the morning and immediately start thinking of reasons you can call in sick.

And it's so very sad, really, because I used to absolutely love eBay. I was eBay's biggest cheerleader.  When I was laid off in 2001, eBay was a safe harbor for me. I put food in my newborn baby's mouth with eBay and sometimes even felt a real sense of security.

Those times are long gone for me, though.

(Okay, okay, I still have one eBay store running and I might list some stuff in it soon. But it's purely to get rid of inventory I already have. I swear. And to unload the Yudu for our Girl Scout troop. That's it. Really.)

So I found something different. Something I love to do and a reason to check my email with a smile every morning.

Tee shirts.

I talked about it a little bit before. But I've expanded, y'all. And I'm having so much freaking FUN.

It started with the girl scouts. And then a little summer camp action. Before long I was making shirts for bowling leagues and 4H clubs.

And then a few friends and I read Fifty Shades of Grey . You've heard of it. The scandalous novel sweeping the world with it's tantalizing scenes and bondage and discipline themes? Yep, that one.

We giggled over it, we shared our favorite scenes, we joked, we had a lot of fun with our significant others. Ahem.

And I made some tee shirts.  <- click that y'all! 

At first I was just joking. But y'all, they SOLD. And they're still selling. They're selling so well I'm making more with them than I was with eBay or the scout shirts. So I expanded. I added some other designs to my new Etsy store - no, I didn't put them in the same store as the Girl Scout stuff, silly, these babies needed a whole different kind of showcase - and I'm absolutely having a ball with it.

I gave some love to marriage equality and Neil Patrick Harris - two subjects I hold hear to my heart. And every day I'm putting up more and more. It's so much fun I have to literally tell myself to stop working and go spend time with my family.

So eBay can sit on it. I'm done.

Parenting Fail Number #3,872 - But who's counting?

The other day I went into the bank to make one of our final cookie sale deposits for Girl Scouts. Cookie deposits are always fun because I get to walk into the bank with thousands of dollars in cash - mostly one dollar bills. Then I get to unleash my evil upon an unsuspecting teller who has to spend the next half hour with me, counting out all that cash and occasionally giving me the stink eye.

I pulled into the bank parking lot at around 3 pm with Munchkin and Goober and my ginormous wad of cash. Munchkin asked if she could stay in the car and read her book but Goober wanted to go inside in the hopes that a bank lollipop would be available. I told Munchkin she could stay in the car since it was cool and overcast and let her read her Babysitters Club book.

So Goober and I go in the bank and after a short wait in line, a poor teller who knew not what she was getting herself into, called us up.

She was a trooper, though, and just smiled and started counting. About half way through her count - we heard a loud POP, the three tellers emitted an in unison high pitched scream, and the power went out.

And I thought "OH MY GOD SOMEONE IS ROBBING THE BANK AND MUNCHKIN IS IN THE CAR AND THEY'RE GOING TO STEAL MY GIRL SCOUT DEPOSIT!!!!!!!!!"

And I nearly passed out.

But it was not the case. The POP we heard was the backup generator's fuse blowing or something and not wimpy gun fire. So this was just a simple power outage and not a robbery.

My teller just continued counting like nothing had happened. It barely even slowed her down. 

Though, I don't know if you've ever been in a bank when the power goes out because this was a first for me. They lock it down. If you're in, you're in, if you're out, you're out. So I said to the teller "My daughter's in the car!"

And she looked a little alarmed and said "Well, how old is she?"

"She's 10!"

The teller looked at me with an eyebrow raised "She'll probably be okay, Ma'am."

And of course she was. She was happily engrossed in her book when I returned to the car a short time later and had no knowledge that any power outage had occurred. But from now on, she'll be coming in the bank to read her book in their waiting area. Lesson learned.

This year February is just a little longer than normal - Hooray for that.

Ah, February.

I have a love/hate relationship with February, that I think I've mentioned before. In the beginning of the month we're always wrapping up our Girl Scout cookie sale which always proves to be hectic. By the Superbowl Sunday my co-leader and I are usually ready to pull our hair out and put a formal ban on the words "Tagalong" and "Samoa" within our earshot.

Then we have Valentines Day, which can either be the most wonderful day or the most disappointing day, depending on our expectations. This year I was happy to pick out my own roses at the grocery store and remark on how beautiful they were every day as they opened up. Bug, still a little tender from his break-up, had moved on to another cute face and had a less than favorable response from her when he attempted to woo her with chocolate and a teddy bear on Valentines Day. Middle school can be brutal, y'all.

Rounding out the end of the month is my birthday, which has officially moved from being the happiest day of the year to another reminder of time's constant passing. I'm less than a week away to the big three five and I'll be happy when it's passed, I guess.  I wish I could be more like those people who, no matter the year, are elated when it's their day. They look forward to it, they plan it, they get excited about the attention and the gifts and the hub bub.

Don't get me wrong - I do enjoy celebrating the day with my family. I just enjoy it a little more when it's one of their birthdays we're celebrating, not mine. This year I plan on sitting on the beach with my toes buried in the sand and a cold margarita in hand, and I'll try to just look at it as a beautiful day with my family.

I do love a good margarita.

I had a lot of fun with the babelfish translator when I wrote this post.

Forever ago (in the beginning of December), I was contacted by Vanessa, a representative for GoGo squeeZ, an applesauce in a pouch snack marketed for kids.  Vanessa asked if the monsters and I would be willing to try her product and maybe write what we thought about it here on the blog. I'll admit that I sort of ignored Vanessa at first.  Because as much as I like getting free stuff (I mean, really, who doesn't?), I don't really do a lot of product promotion here on the blog and I don't really want to start.

Vanessa was persistent, though, and offered to send out some GoGo squeeZ to me whether I wrote about it or not.

Enter my girl scout co-leader, Miss F. Miss F is all about healthy snacks at girl scout meetings. I mean, who isn't about healthy snacks for kids? - but Miss F takes it to a new level. Our girls have eaten so many bananas and grapes they've been known to literally pout at the sight of a grape. Oh, how they long for processed carbs and sugar. But Miss F will have none of it. She is vigilant.

And in her defense, the one time we allowed the girls to plan their own food at an end-of-the-year party, there was so much crappy food we actually watched as they spun themselves into chocolate induced frenzies and then dropped like flies from sugar crashes. It's all about moderation, y'all.

Anyhow, the thing about GoGo squeeZ is that there is no added sugar. The ingredients in the Apple Apple flavor are simple. Apple, apple juice concentrate. That's it. And the Apple Banana flavor? There's some banana mixed in. Crazy, right? It's all natural and healthy. And the apples are French. So they're fancy apples that pronounce things funny. Oui, oui. Mes pommes sont délicieuses.

Anyhow, I knew Miss F would approve. And guess who was signed up for snack at the first meeting of the new year? The Spaz. You can see where I'm going with this.

We've actually bought GoGo squeeZ a few times before. The monsters are pretty fond of it, actually. Munchkin especially likes the Apple Cinnamon flavor. I like it because it's not messy and the little pouches come with screw on tops that you can screw back on. So the kids can eat half a package and save the rest for later. Try that with one of those little tubs of applesauce with the foil lids. It's not pretty.

So I told Vanessa that I'd be happy to let the girls try GoGo squeeZ out at our next meeting and she put a package in the mail to me.

When the package arrived I have to admit, I was a little giddy. Not only did Vanessa include enough GoGo squeeZ for all the girls and leaders to try, but she included some fun toys for the girls to play with, too. Little airplanes for them to put together, pick-up sticks, a jumprope, and some squeezie stress apples for the leaders to squeeze when the girls drive us crazy girls to play with.

And she packed it all up in a Publix reusable grocery bag. Which made me love her, instantly. I love you, Vanessa!

When I unveiled the GoGo squeeZ to the girls they were happy to give it a try. Because it wasn't grapes or bananas and it came in a package which made them think it might just be junk food. Ha! Take that, Jessica Seinfeld!

The girls sucked down their GoGo squeeZ like little crazed lunatics and asked for more.  Even the leaders gave them a try, including myself.  I actually expected not to like it, but honestly, it was darned delicious. And only 60 calories in a package? My ass thanks you, GoGo squeeZ.

The girls also found new uses for the empty pouches. They're such recyclers. They discovered that GoGo squeeZ pouches stick to your face if you create a vacuum (they didn't learn that from Miss G, not at all). They also discovered that you can fill a GoGo squeeZ pouch with air and then blow it at each other like a weapon. Hilarity ensued.

It was all fun in games until one of the girls almost lost their eye by a nose diving GoGo squeeZ airplane. That's when we had to shut it down.

In short, we liked the squeeZ. The kids liked the taste (and we've got some picky girls to contend with) and I liked the easy clean-up. Miss F liked the lack of preservatives, gluten, nuts, dairy, processed sugar, ninjas, and barbiturates. Really y'all, stop giving your children barbiturates.

Fort Wilderness Camping with the Girl Scouts - Easter Sunday

After all the little girl scouts had gone to sleep, two of the leaders hid Easter eggs all over our campsites for the girls to find in the morning.

So early Easter morning the girls woke up to a colorful array of eggs scattered throughout the sites.  And in the trees.

That's right, the trees.

Evidently the squirrels of Fort Wilderness thought they should be part of the egg hunt, too.  And they got an early start.  Eggs were open, had holes chewed in them, and were falling from the treetops.  It was hilarious.  The girls had fun finding the eggs and then ate a cereal and fruit breakfast while we got to the business of breaking down camp.

Check out was at 11 but it took us a little longer to get everything packed up.  Luckily no one came by and yelled at us to get out.  We managed to pack up the trailer and get it attached to the Suburban on the first try and we all gave high fives to each other in glee.

We seriously were so freaking proud of ourselves.

We had promised the girls we'd let them shop in the gift shop before we left so two leaders took the girls to shop while one of the leaders and I took our cars loaded with gear off the site to the parking lot. Once all the girls had shopped and we were back at the parking lot we realized our girls were starving. So what did we do?

We put leftover spaghetti and meatballs into plastic cups and let them eat in the cars.  They got to forage into all the leftovers from the coolers and everyone was happy as we got on the road to go home.

It was about an hour into the drive when my co-leader and I in the van noticed that one of the lids on one of the bins on the trailer was flapping around a little.  Before it flew off and caused a ten car pileup on the Florida Turnpike, we pulled over and assessed the situation.  Some highway side securing solved the problem and we were back on our way.

Halfway home, I discovered that The Man and his family were holding the annual Easter egg hunt for Munchkin to arrive.  So I informed my fellow leaders that I'd be making a detour before we pulled into town to drop Munchkin off at the family party so that all the kids could get to hunting.

Munchkin happily skipped off to the hunt in her girl scout camping clothes and not a pretty Easter dress as would have been the norm... but I don't think anyone cared.

By 6:30 every girl had been delivered to their parents, the van had been unpacked, and I was driving home to an empty house.  After a hot shower I fell into bed, exhausted.  And that was the end of me.

Fort Wilderness Camping with the Girl Scouts - Day 2

Where was I?

Oh yes, we had just served the girls lava spaghetti from the front seat of the van.

By the time the movie was over, all eleven girls were pretty tired so we headed back to camp and everyone got ready for our first night of sleeping in tents.

The girls showered in the lovely showers that Disney provides.  Truly, the best showers I have ever seen at a campsite.

The other leaders and I hung out in our chairs and relaxed a bit while the girls giggled themselves to sleep and then we retired to our air mattresses.

I don't know about you, but I never have any luck with air mattresses. Last weekend was no exception.  I inflated my high quality, not cheap or crappy, Sealy air mattress fully and prepared for a comfortable night of sleep.  However, at some point I found half of my body touching the ground and the other half awkwardly raised in the air.  This always happens to me.  I have bad air mattress juju.

The morning came early on Saturday and we were determined to have a day full of fun for the girls. After a hearty breakfast of eggs, bacon, and pancakes, we did the standard girl scout dunk bag method of cleaning dishes and the girls went off to play a wicked game of Disney dodge ball.

While the girls were playing dodge ball, my co-leader and I went to refill our propane tank and check out the beach area of the campground where it was rumored that the girls might enjoy a nice picnic lunch.  I mentioned before that Fort Wilderness isn't really car friendly, didn't I? Well this would be one of those times when having a golf cart would have been awfully handy.

We had the van, carrying a propane tank and all, and were trying to get close enough to scope out this little beach area.  But there is absolutely no place to park.  Now it was Saturday around 11, which also happens to be check-out time at Fort Wilderness.  So we drove to the nearest campsite loop and decided to park the van in an empty campsite and walk over to the beach area to check it out.  Check out just happened, right? So the chances of the new campsite tenant showing up right away was really slim, right?

You'd think.

As we were walking back to the van after leisurely discovering the perfect picnic spot, I heard a horn honking in the distance.  And then I realized it was coming from a HUGE MOTOR HOME parked right behind the van.

The van looked really itty bitty in comparison.  I think the van was shaking a little with fear.

We ran back to the van and apologized profusely to the people who desperately wanted to get their site set up and we hightailed it out of there.

Back at our site we loaded up sandwich stuff in soft coolers and all of us rode our bikes over to the picnic spot for sandwiches.

We ate and then the girls wanted to head over the the Triple Circle D ranch to look at the horses.  These are the same horses that pull the carts on Main Street in The Magic Kingdom and I was totally excited to go see them.  Of course, I pretended I was really only going to see them because the girls wanted to go, but secretly I was thrilled.

And that's when I fell in love.




All of the horses there are Percherons and they're ginormous.  And absolutely beautiful.  And they're all named manly names like John (seen above) and Jake and Dave.  And I wanted to take them all home.

After horses and lunch we all went over to the pool and got sunburned.  It was joyous.  We did apply sunscreen to each and every girl, but the Orlando sun is relentless and our little porcelain dolls fried like lobsters.  They had a fantastic time, though.

At 5 we hurried back to camp and made hot dogs and hamburgers for the girls.  They served them, just like good girl scouts should do, and we realized that we actually might be doing a good thing for these girls.  They served, cleaned up, and all ran efficiently.  It was fantastic.

After our cookout, we got ready to head over to the Chip & Dale sing along where the most exciting part of our trip occurred.  Before the sing along started, while the girls were getting all ooey gooey with smores over the campfire, one of the cast members came over and asked if our troop would be willing to introduce Chip & Dale.

And all the girls went "SQUEEEE!!!"

No really, that's the noise they made.

So after we cleaned the marshmallow stickiness off of their faces and the chocolate off of their little fingers, we all lined up with Chip & Dale and escorted them on to the stage.  Which was awesome.

The girls got a signed photo from Chip & Dale and hugs and kisses and it was fantastic.

After the sing along we took them back to the beach area to watch the Electrical Water Pageant and the fireworks from the Magic Kingdom.

It was really an awesome day.

And in the end, eleven little girl scouts fell fast asleep in their sleeping bags.

Fort Wilderness Camping with the Girl Scouts - Day 1

So to continue the nature-loving trend I'm having here on Domestic Spaz, it's time to talk a little about last weekend's camping trip.

It wasn't really intentional that we planned a weekend camping trip for the girl scouts on Easter weekend.  It was more of a "Hey! We need to book a camping trip! The girls don't have school that Friday, let's book one then!" and bam reservations were made.

It didn't really pose much of a problem for our troop, luckily, as out of sixteen girls, only three decided they couldn't make it.  In the end, two more dropped out due to health issues.  So Friday morning we gathered at my co-leader's house at the crack of dawn to begin our adventure.

We had gathered most of the girls gear the night before and put it in the topper on my van.  The Man packed that sucker like a game of duffel bag tetris and I warned everyone not to even think about opening it until we had arrived at Fort Wilderness.

The real challenge was packing up the open trailer we were using to bring up the tents and food and BIKES.  Luckily, my co-leader's husband was willing to pack it up nice and securely for the ride up.  Since we're smartypantses, we took pictures of the trailer in order to remember how to pack it up to come home. This would be the first of our genius moves of the weekend.

We got on the road a little late, but managed the 3 hour drive without incident.

The trailer and all of its contents remained secure and once we arrived on our campsite we managed to back it into place and unhook it from the Suburban that had pulled it up there.

Nevermind that we forgot temporarily to actually unlock it from the trailer hitch and managed to actually pick the back of the Suburban off the ground while attempting to unhook it.  And nevermind that the block we placed underneath the front of the trailer wasn't exactly level, causing the trailer to roll backward and KACHUNK on the ground. No one was injured and all was well. And we did it.

We quickly ate a sandwich lunch because we were all starving.  Then our first real challenge (aside from the trailer) was to set up camp.  We had three tents for the girls and one ginormous tent for the five leaders and two adjacent campsites to utilize.  So we decided to put all the girls on one site and then put the leaders on the site with the trailer and all of the cooking stuff.  This would be the second of our genius moves of the weekend.

The girls tents quickly started going up.  Until we got to the tent I had brought for the girls.  Now, the last person to use this tent was The Man's cousin when she took our kids and her kids camping with the boy scouts.  I was actually in Pittsburgh at the time, but evidently when the tent was returned it was a little disheveled.  The Man was dealing with an arm injury at the time, so I guess when he attempted to return the tent to its original condition, he forgot to make sure that the entire structure of tent poles and framing was put in the bag with the tent.

I had planned on setting up the tent at home before the trip just to make sure nothing like this happened... but time caught up with me (as it usually does) and it never happened.  So you can imagine my frustration when I realized that the tent I had brought for the girls wasn't going to happen.

Yeah.

Luckily, we had to make a run to Walmart for food just after setting up camp, so the troop could purchase another tent while we were there. Crisis averted.

While one of the leaders and I ventured off to Walmart, the other three leaders took the girls to the pool.  There is an awesome bus line that runs throughout Fort Wilderness that will get you pretty much wherever you need to go.  But the girls wanted to ride their bikes.  And when they had played all of the cards they could play to get us to agree to let them ride their bikes to the pool (that we weren't sure where it actually was), they played the final card.

"But it's EARTH DAY!"

And off on their bikes they all went.






After the pool and the trip to Walmart, we started dinner for the girls. The girls had planned the menu, so Friday's dinner was spaghetti with meatballs and garlic bread.

Time was of the essence (as it always is), so we decided to make a big pot of spaghetti and drive the girls over to the movie (there's a movie under the stars every night at Fort Wilderness) and let them eat the spaghetti there.

So we drove them over (as close as we could drive them, a lot of Fort Wilderness is bike & golf cart accessible only) and set up an assembly line of plates and forks for them to get their spaghetti and walk over to the movie.

The pot was on the floor of the front passenger seat of my van and to serve it, we had the brilliant idea of me putting my hand in a big ziploc bag and grabbing a handful of spaghetti to put on their plate.  The idea was awesome.  Except for the fact that the spaghetti was like LAVA.

I served the first girl in this manner and my hand was immediately tingly like it was on fire.  But I had eleven girls to serve and there was a bit of a sense or urgency... so what did I do?

I persevered.

I stuck my hand into the burning lava spaghetti eleven times and served all eleven girls.  And then I cried as the feeling returned to my fingertips.  But all girls ate. Mission accomplished.

In the morning I discovered two meatballs on the floor of the van and three strands of spaghetti stuck to my dashboard.  But it was all good.

Not that I gave up anything for Lent anyway, but The Spaz will be celebrating the end of it with copious amounts of booze...

The next few days in Spazland are going to be a little nutty. I feel like I've been triple whammied by life.

Thursday is The Man's birthday.  While I'm not planning a giant celebration for him (sorry, Mr. Wonderful), I'd still like to make his day special. :) So I need to find some time to make the house somewhat enjoyable for him and bake him a birthday cake. No big deal, right? Unfortunately, I also have a girl scout meeting that night that is necessary for me to attend so the tribute to The Man will have to wait until after the meeting.

Why on earth would a girl scout meeting trump The Man's birthday? Well, because on Friday (Earth Day!) I'll be heading up to Disney's Fort Wilderness with thirteen 9 year old girls, their bikes, and 5 other grown women for a weekend camping extravaganza. So the meeting on Thursday is kind of an important one to touch base with the girls and their parents and to pack up the minivan.

Now, it's not as if I haven't known about this trip for EVER.  But I just wouldn't be me if I didn't leave all the pertinent little details to the last minute.

So between now and Thursday I have to somehow find the time to clean out the van and vacuum it so the girls aren't accosted with something foul that may be living in the 3rd row, get to the grocery store, do enough laundry to make sure everyone has clothes for camping and for the boys at home until I return (including Easter clothes), set up our tent to make sure it's not all screwy for some reason (and to make sure I know how to set up our tent), put a First Aid kit together for the troop, put the topper on the minivan, clean the house, buy all of the stuff we'll inevitably need for camping, buy Easter stuff, pack 200 colored eggs with candy and treats, get new tires on the van, bake a cake, host a girl scout meeting, and, oh yeah, actually get some work done.

I'm giggling a little. It's probably hysteria. 

Our check out time from Fort Wilderness is Sunday at 11:00 AM.  Easter Sunday. It was a bit of a screw up that we actually booked this camping trip for Easter weekend, but oddly enough, it hasn't caused too much of a disruption with the girl scout families. Out of the 16 girls in our troop, 13 are attending and the other three are not missing the trip due to the holiday.

So on a morning when I would usually be watching my babies wake up to colorful, chocolatey, jelly beany goodness, I'll be breaking down a camp site and loading girls into cars to head home.

And hopefully we'll be able to get to The Man's aunt's house by 2:00 for our annual Easter egg hunt.  I'm sending The Man and the boys with the previously stuffed eggs just in case we don't make it.

I think I'll be having a nice, stiff, Easter evening drink.

In which The Spaz decides that sleeping is overrated...

Today was Bug's first day of 5th grade and my first day as his Learning Coach. And we made it. We're both alive. Barely.

We started out the day with optimism and smiles. And even though there were a few tears and frustrations throughout the day, I think all in all it went pretty well. I loved that we went right into learning today on the first day (even though Bug said it was all pretty easy) instead of the first day of traditional school where it seems to be all paperwork and teachers getting organized and learning names.

We even got a little ahead of the game for tomorrow.

So Bug's all good. He's happy and I *think* he's pretty happy with the way this home school thing is working out.

Me? I'm fried.

I've been known to jump right into new adventures with both feet. And sometimes that's a good thing, and sometimes it's not so good. It's my nature and I certainly haven't betrayed my nature lately. I'm just wondering what I've gotten myself into.

It's not just the homeschooling, either. At some point today I committed to being a co-leader for Munchkin's Junior Girl Scout troop this year... the troop that holds meetings at the exact same time as Goober's football practices. And I'm still trying to figure out how to fit karate in for Bug.

And I can't forget the fact that I need to somehow fit in at least 30 hours of work time in each week, do the grocery shopping, make dinners, do laundry, and keep the house in some sort of order.

I've decided to just forgo sleeping to fit it all in.

The Man has reluctantly agreed to take some time off of work to play taxi driver and baby sitter and I'm in the process of making a new chore list for the kids to help take some of the pressure off of me. So maybe it won't be so insane... maybe?

The kids are only little once, right? Before I know it they'll be grown up and have their own lives and all this insanity will be like a dream.