Wednesday, January 2, 2013

Here's a big giant middle finger for my ex-husband - and oh hey, I'm gonna blog more.

I stopped blogging for a while, did you notice?

For a while I thought I was going to scrap this blog. Completely. Never to return again.

But you know what? I like it. I like having my very own soapbox and I like having a place to write. I just hate feeling like I have to censor myself. Censoring myself makes writing, something I love to do, so unenjoyable. It makes it a task on the to-do list instead of a hobby I'm passionate about.

So why would I censor myself?

The most recent reason boils down to my ex-husband. Through the grapevine I learned that not only is he reading the blog - but he's taking the pictures I post of Bug and Munchkin and posting them on his own facebook wall like he's father of the year.

So let's get something straight. Bug and Munchkin don't know him. At all. Not even a little bit. And they don't ask about him, either.

The last time we saw him Munchkin was about two weeks old.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to paint a picture of myself sitting at home crying because my husband walked out. That's not the case. I'm the one who left. I left because he was a cheater and a liar and a manipulator and there was no way in hell I was going to raise my children to follow in his footsteps. I left because I was tired of sitting at home taking care of a child, trying to pay the bills, and making a home for us while he went out with friends and spent our money on fun.

But I'm not going to turn this blog into a lynching. Suffice it to say, he wasn't there for us in the way we needed him to be so I left him.  And he put on a show like he cared for a little while. But in the end it was pretty obvious that he was just fine with being single again and that whole "being a dad" thing was kind of putting a damper on his social life.

By the time Munchkin was just a few months old, he had completely stopped even trying to contact us. Neither of the kids have ever once received so much as a call on their birthday from him. Nothing.

And to be quite honest, that's fine with me and as far as I can tell it's fine with them, too.

But for him to post pictures of my babies on his facebook page like he's their dad and he has something to be proud of? It infuriates me.

He has nothing to be proud of. He has no reason to brag about how awesome they are, how beautiful they are, how talented and smart and funny they are. He had no part of that. None. They are amazing in spite of him.

The best thing he ever did for them was walk far, far away. And I hope he keeps on walking.


Anonymous said...[Reply to comment]

Hello. My name is Shawna. I read your blog alot and respect your views and think you have a way with words. However having been thru a similar situation (atleast they sound similar) I would like to say that putting this out like this would be more between you and him than it would be for the entire web. What you say sounds like you are getting info from a third party and I have learned that no matter who it comes from the story is never really told correctly that way. Men are usually dogs. My ex is no different. I will say I was not perfect either and did plenty that was not perfect. He and I after ten years talked and are now on speaking terms and he is a part of the children's lives now. They now have the man I'm with and now know him aswell and truth be told as hard as it was to get used to, they seem to be ok with it and most of my daughters issues in school and other areas seem to have improved and are getting better. GOOD LUCK

Domestic Spaz said...[Reply to comment]


Thanks for your view, Shawna. I think it's great that you were able to come to some sort of terms with your ex and hopefully he is a positive role model in your children's lives.

Anonymous said...[Reply to comment]

I agree with Shawna that this is something between the two of you and not for the world to see. I also read your little corner of the web often and you have made me life and cry at times.You should write a book. Bashing your ex online due to second or third hand information was not something I would have expected from the person that writes this blog however. I am in noway taking his side here. We all have an ex or two. Maybe you should check his facebook page and see what he is saying. If he is playing father of the year then you and he should have a talk. If he is posting pictures then it is not that big of a deal in my opinion. I have always enjoyed your blog and love the shirts also. All I am saying is no matter how flat you make the pancake there are always two sides. Thank you for the blog and your time. Your blog follower: Ashley Jemsen

the_happy_hausfrau said...[Reply to comment]

I say, it's your blog. Your life, your story. Screw him.

That is all :)

The Virtuous Girl said...[Reply to comment]

Any man that would abandon his children is despicable and does not deserve to be treated with kid gloves. You have every right to feel how you feel and publish it on your blog. That's one reason your blog is so awesome -- we always get to hear from the real you. Congratulations for making the brave decision to continue writing your blog. You are such a gifted communicator. Your readers are lucky to be able to experience your amazing sense of humor, your joys, and candid insights into the craziness of every day life.