The Spaz thanks her lucky stars for sending her someone as amazing as The Man

As I've mentioned before, The Man and I never legally married. We have numerous reasons for not going the white dress route, some are his reasons and some are mine, but mostly we just don't feel that it's important to us. We do, however, have an anniversary. And that day is today.

Today The Man and I have been truly committed to each other for a decade. Ten years ago today, we promised that we'd always be there for each other. The Man officially accepted Bug and Munchkin and me as his family and promised to love us, unconditionally.

When I think back to that time, I remember trying to convey to him what he was really taking on. I was a single mom with two tiny children. Bug and Munchkin would never know their biological father as their dad. They would grow up calling The Man "Daddy" and looking to him for guidance and love and support. I wanted him to understand what kind of astronomical responsibility that was going to be and to understand that once he committed to it, he was truly committed.

In one moment, The Man accepted that. He promised he would be there for us, be there for them, and that no matter what happened between The Man and I, he would always be their dad.

I think it's a rare person who has that much love and commitment in their heart and sometimes I just can't believe I found someone like him.

In the past ten years he has never wavered. He has celebrated all of their accomplishments and struggled through all of their hard times. He has held my hand through hospital visits and late night illnesses. He has held video cameras through recitals and ceremonies and first steps and birthday parties. The Man has spent hours talking with the kids and helping them to become better people. He has perfected magic tricks and corny jokes just to make them smile. He has volunteered his back for the scouts and watched diligently at karate classes. He has done everything that a father should do and more.

And through it all he has never stopped loving me.

I don't know what amazing act of kindness I must have done to win me the karma it must have required to have him in my life. But I can't tell you how thankful I am for him. Happy Anniversary Mr. Wonderful. I love you so much.

The Man is officially a grown up today, yesterday he was just a kid playing house

Today is The Man's birthday and therefore a day to celebrate.

Today he turns 36.

When I was a kid, 36 was old to me. I can remember my mom being 36. Vaguely, but I remember it. And in my head, now, 36 is really a grown up.  It's like, time to start thinking about mutual funds and plans and safety nets and investments.

What? I was supposed to be thinking of all that stuff before? Pshaw. I have two more years.

Anyhow... I digress.

So, since The Man is officially a grown up today, I guess things around Spazland are going to have to change.  We'll have to start doing yard work on Saturday mornings and making our bed every day.  Our radios will have to be tuned to easy listening and we'll have to watch the evening news and discuss current events at the dinner parties we're going to have to start having.  We'll have to find some friends that are a couple. Their names should be something like "Jack and Alice" and we'll go on vacations to quaint locations with them.  We'll have to start going antiquing and The Man will pick up golfing as an excuse to get away from the old ball and chain and drink scotch in country club bars.  When people come over for our cocktail parties they'll compliment us on stuff in our house.

"Oh, that side table? I bought that with Alice on Amelia Island last summer at the cutest little antique shop while Jack and The Man were playing golf."

On second thought, I think I'm pretty happy not being a grown up.  I'll take the scotch and vacations, though.

Happy Birthday, Mr. Wonderful. I feel so lucky that you were born.

The Spaz & The Man go on a date

The Man and I had a date the other night. Like, for REAL a date. We had no kids with us and we went to a restaurant that did not have a kids menu and I ordered a $12 glass of wine. Heck, I ordered two of them. I could have almost had two boxes of wine for that, but ambiance, people... ambiance.

The restaurant was French and located next to the water and we sat outside and enjoyed a gorgeous South Florida night and I felt fancy.

French restaurants are always fun because I get to base what I'm going to order on what I can actually pronounce so that I don't look like a fool to the server. It was all for naught, though, because for an appetizer we ordered this Bistro plate where you pick two cheeses and one meat and they put it all together with some other delicious munchies and I couldn't pronounce any of that stuff, except for Gruyere. So we asked the server for recommendations. And it was good. French cheese is super fantastic.

After our delicious meal, we decided to walk by the water for a while and talk. It was heavenly to be out and wearing make-up and perfume and nail polish on my toes and to be carrying a purse that barely fit my wallet and lip gloss.

We held hands, we talked, we looked at the lights on the water, it was peaceful and romantic and really a perfect date.

And then we went to Walmart.

Yeah... sort of a culture shock. I would have preferred a more upscale grocery store, but at 1 AM you take what you can get. And the cat probably would have smothered us in our sleep if we didn't bring cat food home.

We were the fanciest people at Walmart, though. I'm sure of that.

Get in the kitchen and make my dinner, woman!

I am a feminist. This blog said so. So it must be true. :)

No, but really. I've always known I was. Which, according to the standard socially accepted definition of the word, would be quite a surprise to most of the people I know.

There's no question that The Man "wears the pants" in our family. I tend to clear things with him before I make decisions, he is the major disciplinarian in the family, he is the one who decides how we spend the money, and all that jazz. In the past, the fact that I "dote" on him has caused unrest in the eyes of other women in my life.

And sometimes that really pisses me off. Mostly I let it slide off my back, but sometimes it just grates on my last nerve. Because I make the decision to treat The Man the way I treat him. If I fix his plate at a barbecue and bring it to him, it's because I want to do it. I like doing little things for him and that's the way our relationship works.

It's not like he's sitting around shouting out "WENCH, BRING ME A BEER AND A SANDWICH AND MAKE IT SNAPPY!"

Okay, he may have said that once. But he was kidding, I promise.

It's not like things don't go both ways. He brings me glasses of wine while I take baths and then he sits in the bathroom to talk to me while I relax. He gives the absolute best shoulder massages ever. He runs errands and vacuums and once I even caught him folding laundry. (I took a picture, but if I posted it he'd kill me.)

But yes, in the grand scheme of things I do most of the domestic work (poorly) and he does most of the more serious big decision making stuff. And he takes out the trash and deals with anything that uses a motor.

So does that make me less of a feminist? Hell to the no, ladies.

And when someone gives me crap for bringing him a slice of pie when he has two working legs and could do it himself? I say, take a look in the mirror. Who's the one putting women down in this scenario? The one giving me a hard time for making a decision that you wouldn't make for yourself? Or the one doing a simple task that makes the love of her life just a little more comfortable?

At the end of this year, The Man and I will celebrate 10 years together. We've had our fights and our problems and there have been times when both of us had doubts that our partnership was as fulfilling as we would have hoped. But still, to this day, when I look at him I know that I am hopelessly in love with him. Not the same kind of twitterpated, fluttery love that I once had for him, no. This is deeper and smoother and safer, the kind of love I can count on when the rest of the world is crashing down around me.

Who wouldn't want to bring that man a slice of pie?

Birthday, Earth Day, & The Wild Kingdom

Today is The Man's birthday and I got to see him for a whole 15 minutes before he trotted off to work this afternoon. He's turning the big three five this year and he's looking quite dapper for his old age, if I do say so myself.

Today is also the eve of Earth Day. Last year I went all gung ho on the Earth Day front and I figured it might be about time to reflect on the big changes I made to The Spaz household a year ago in honor of our planet.

Recycling bins. Yes, we got them. I even placed them in my kitchen when they arrived and lectured the kids on how to separate the plastics from the papers and which bin to place them in. Oh how much fun we had separating and filling up our bins which were to be collected once a week on Wednesday mornings.

After three Wednesday mornings had gone by and no one had taken out the bins, they were a little full. And stinky. And then one Friday night while everyone else was sleeping I threw everything in a garbage bag and put it out on the curb for Saturday morning's regular pickup. And that is how our recycling bins became acquainted with the back of our garage, never to see the light of day again.

Maybe I'll dig them out this year and try again.

Eco Friendly Lunchboxes. I'm actually doing great with this because now Goober is in kindergarten and therefore eats school lunch. So I haven't had to pack a sandwich in a ziploc bag or buy a box of Capri Suns all year! Score one for The Spaz!

I did, actually, have to pack Bug a lunch today for a field trip and did utilize a sandwich container and reusable plastic container for applesauce. That was more of an avoidance of the grocery store, though, than a real attempt to save the earth. I was out of ziplocs and only had a giant jar of applesauce. I did, however, save gas by not driving to the store.

Buying jugs of water. I can honestly, and not sarcastically, say that I've done really great with this. We still use our Brita pitcher and I haven't bought any jugs of bottled water. Seriously, I'm proud of myself here. Score another one for The Spaz!

Reusable shopping bags. Let me just tell you how much I use these bags. They're great for packing a kid up for a sleepover. You can send kids to school with all sorts of stuff in them. In fact, on the first day of school all of those supplies went to school in reusable shopping bags. They work great for bringing gifts to parties, sending stuff home with guests, the uses are endless!

If only I could remember to bring them with me to the actual grocery store I might be saving the earth.

I don't feel too terribly horrible about my Earth Day Failures, though, because I read a blog post today that let me know how much I do for the earth every day that I didn't even think of. Water conservation? Big giant check!

In other news, I have managed to keep Felix, the kitten, alive for over 7 weeks now. He's quite the feisty kitten these days so I guess I did a pretty good job. Cause The Spaz and wildlife go together like PB&J, y'all.

In fact, I saved a turtle crossing the road just this afternoon by standing in the middle of the road and motioning to cars to go around. Pick him up? No way. Those things can bite your finger off!

Oh where oh where has The Man gone?

So there comes a time when we all have to pull up our big kid pants and do stuff we just don't want to do. Frankly, I've really never been good at this. I'm an impulsive girl and I live in the moment. I think of it as a flaw but it's probably done some good things for me in my 32 years.

32... really? Crap.

Moving on.

So The Man has been having some difficulty with his Internet Marketing Empire and his other plans to take over the world aren't quite complete and my eBay store has been basically sucking and the bank accounts sort of started dwindling and then sort of being empty... and it came time to do some stuff we aren't proud of.

Not that kind of stuff. Get your head out of the gutter. Geesh.

The Man had to go get a real paycheck producing job. And since the economy is in the toilet and the unemployment rate in South Florida is something like 15% the whole getting a job thing didn't really go as we expected. He interviewed for a bunch of jobs that he was more than qualified for and applied for everything under the sun and in the end he ended up getting a job as a security guard.

And it's not that being a security guard is some horrible loser job or anything... it's just that it's a bit of a step down from what he's used to doing.

And it's not permanent. He has other things in the works and eBay will come back up eventually and things will go back to normal.

But for now, Mr. Man is spending his Friday and Saturday nights dressed in unbreathable polyester and I'm packing his lunch.

That, combined with him working weekdays (sometimes 14 hour weekdays) on some other hopefully more profitable ventures has The Man out of the house for most of his time. And me left here with the kids by myself.

It's proving to be quite the adventure.

Happy Birthday to The Man

It is my beloved's 33rd birthday today. We've been celebrating all weekend and still have more to do today! Oy... the cake.

So, in honor of Mr. Wonderful's birthday, this post will be all about him. He's going to hate this. ;)

When we met I was a sweet 17 year old girl and I was his friend's girlfriend. It wasn't long before little floating pink hearts started flying between us, though. He kissed me one night on a whim. I can still feel that kiss over 13 years later.

It wasn't until several years had gone by that we really committed to one another... and it's been a wonderful ride since then. I can't imagine loving anyone like I love The Man. He's the only one for me.

To most people he seems quiet. People tell me all the time "He never talks!" What they don't know is that at home I can't get him to stop talking! I'm constantly bitching at politely requesting him to stop making sarcastic comments during the romantic parts of girlie movies or tuning him out focusing intensely when he explains complex technological details about things I'll never understand.

He's an amazing father. If it weren't for him I'm sure our kids would be absolute monsters. He commands respect from our three children while still giving them all the love they'll ever need. He's patient in a way I absolutely am not. He actually takes the time to answer in detail "Why is the sky blue?" type questions. He's patient enough to teach a four year old to play chess. He can bandage a scraped knee with the most thorough care when I'll pour peroxide and throw a Barbie Band Aid on an 8 year old boy and tell him to suck it up.

Mr. Fantastic loves me when I've woken up late and haven't had coffee and I have pillow marks on the side of my face and I snap at anyone who gets in my path. He boldly held my hand through the cesarean section of our youngest child and even held the vomit container to my mouth as I had reactions to the anesthesia. He has worriedly checked my temperature when it sky rocketed out of control as I battled the flu. When I sliced my big toe open and even made my doctor's stomach turn he held my hand for all 8 stitches (and took pictures with his cell phone).

He always has a pocket knife to open packages, takes out the garbage with no complaints, lifts heavy boxes, and fixes broken stuff. He strong arms jars, replaces batteries, listens to car noises, and reminds us all to turn off the lights and shut the door (we're not air conditioning all of Florida, yanno).

I won't go into our personal life but let's just say he's earned a big giant thumbs up in th at area.

He stands by me through all my unreasonable hormonal drama, from ranting and raving to uncontrollable tears. He's there through thick and thin (mostly thick) and stays strong when I'm weak - every single time. He's never once lied to me, always kept his promises, and made me feel beautiful even when I know I'm not.

Happy Birthday to the love of my life. I'm so glad you found me.

Happy LOVE Day!

This is Google's picture for today. It makes me feel warm and gooey inside. :)

Yesterday The Man sent me flowers. The note he enclosed with them literally made me cry. This is the man who makes fun of the romantic parts of movies, the man who rolls his eyes at mushy stuff... and he wrote the sweetest card. I won't disclose what it said... just suffice to say you could have knocked me down with a feather.

The flowers were from FTD and they are sort of beautiful. :) They came wilted and are still wilted... but they still take my breath away. Six purple roses and purple lillys. He knew just what I would love.

I feel very lucky today.