Connections Academy teaches the Spaz a huge lesson

If you've been following Domestic Spaz for a while now you might remember that we decided to home school Bug this year.

We decided to use a program called Connections Academy that works with our school district and gives Bug access to real teachers and an online curriculum and all that jazz. And when we decided to do it I was a little nervous but I totally thought it would be fine.

I mean, he was going to have a real teacher, right? Someone he could go to for help if he needed it. And there would be lessons online that would totally teach him what he needed to know and Bug loves the computer. It was going to be just fine.

I guess I underestimated how big my role as "Learning Coach" was going to be in this whole process. But even still, I totally thought I could do it.

I mean, it's only 5th grade, right? It's not like it's rocket science.

At first we were doing fine. And then we fell a little behind. But no worries, right? I mean, we'd just work a little over the holidays and maybe some weekends. But it was only a couple of weeks into the process that I realized Bug doesn't like school.

He hates writing. Writing anything at all, even filling in a worksheet, is like a torture that no one who hasn't actually been a POW could ever understand.

And math? OMG he hates math. Asking Bug to do math is like asking Lindsay Lohan to abstain from nightclubs and shopping for an entire year.

Don't even get me started on Social Studies. Learning about the history of our country is quite possibly more boring than watching paint dry.

So getting Bug to actually sit down and do his work in front of a computer (because computers can do totally awesome stuff that doesn't suck) when at home (with distractions like the dog and cat and a gajillion Legos and numerous remote control devices and an iPod touch) was wearing me down.

And then we got more behind.

Oh, and remember that real live teacher I mentioned before? Yeah, try real live four teachers. Because that's how many he's had over the course of the year. They just kept changing them. Just when we'd sort of start to think we knew how one wanted things, a new one would come along. Bug couldn't even remember what his teacher's name was half the time.

Emails to teachers would go days before they'd be answered and a call into one would almost always go to voice mail. And me? A teacher I am not. I wasn't kidding myself when we started this whole process. I know I'm no teacher. And Bug and I are very different.

I'm a writer by nature. So when Bug sits in front of a blank piece of paper and can't put ideas down on it I just don't really know how to help him. For me, it just flows. Always has. But for Bug it's like there's some crazy mental mind block and he freezes when there's a blank page in front of him. And I'm just like "What do you mean you can't write anything?"

Requests for help from teachers got me a sweet list of ideas from a "What To Do With Your ADHD Child" checklist. Something I could have googled myself, thankyouverymuch.

So in a moment of desperation I found myself sitting watery-eyed in the principal's office of the elementary school that Goober and Munchkin go to, explaining all this to him and asking him if it was possible for Bug to start in a regular 5th grade class for the rest of the year.

And Mr. Super Awesome Principal said that Bug would be fine starting back to a regular school. He reassured me. He made me feel like I didn't suck as a mom. He told me I was making the best decisions for my son that I could make at the time I had to make them. And I almost hugged him.

I'm not really huggy, though, so I didn't go that far.

But in my head? I totally hugged him.

So Bug starts regular school after Spring Break (which is next week... doesn't that seem crazy soon to you?) and I'm thrilled. And you know what? He's thrilled, too. Really and truly. And I'm sure we're going to have the same problems we had last year when Bug was in the gifted program at his old school. I'm sure homework will still be a problem and there will be frustration. But at the very least, Bug will have a real teacher to guide him.

Huge exhale.

In which the Spaz thinks maybe she should have done it differently...

We're one month in and I'm beginning to have doubts about my decision to homeschool Bug.

We're behind. Way behind. And I'm just not sure exactly how we're going to catch up.

Now, before you flame me for being irresponsible with my son's schooling, I'd like you to know that I blame this entirely on our school district.

That's right. It has nothing to do with my own disorganization or procrastination AT ALL.

No... seriously.

We ran into our first problem on September 9th when Munchkin and Goober had no school for Rosh Hashanah. Since I had been told that our schedule would follow the school district's schedule, I was surprised when Bug had a full day of lessons scheduled. We had plans for the day so I let Bug play hooky that day and figured we'd make it up as we went along.

We still haven't completely made it up. What can I say? We're a busy family.

So then, for 3 days this week Bug was required to spend the first 2 hours of each day doing diagnostic testing for the district at the elementary school. While I did enjoy having a couple of hours to myself for those days and I met another amazing mom who I have a lot in common with while dropping Bug off, we still had a full day of lessons scheduled on those days and only a few hours each day to complete them until Munchkin and Goober got home from school. (That was a horribly long sentence.)

And then the kicker came in when yesterday was a half day for the regular school kids. Of course, Bug had a full day of lessons scheduled, and hadn't even put a real dent in what he was overdue on by the time his siblings came loudly through the front door to distract him.

So now we're 2 to 3 full days behind and Bug is terribly overwhelmed. He looks at his lessons as this weight bearing down upon him like an anvil in a Warner Brothers cartoon. And I don't know how to make him feel better.

Somehow we need to get through this and get ahead of the game and it's not going smoothly. I've realized with horror how difficult it is to have one kid homeschooling with a structured program like the one Bug is using (Connections Academy if anyone has any experience), while his siblings are attending regular school.

Unfortunately the next couple of weekends are booked solid, as well, so we're going to have to figure out how to bang this out during the week. I'd like to say I can forgo some of the activities on the weekends but I honestly just can't. And I wonder if I've failed my son by selecting this for him...

But then I think back to last year when Bug went to regular school for 6 hours every day and then sat for the next 6 hours at the kitchen table crying because he couldn't get through his homework. So many nights I sent him to bed without finishing it because I had to decide whether it was more important for him to write an essay or get a good night's sleep. And then I know that this is a better option. It's just a lot harder than I thought it would be.

In which The Spaz decides that sleeping is overrated...

Today was Bug's first day of 5th grade and my first day as his Learning Coach. And we made it. We're both alive. Barely.

We started out the day with optimism and smiles. And even though there were a few tears and frustrations throughout the day, I think all in all it went pretty well. I loved that we went right into learning today on the first day (even though Bug said it was all pretty easy) instead of the first day of traditional school where it seems to be all paperwork and teachers getting organized and learning names.

We even got a little ahead of the game for tomorrow.

So Bug's all good. He's happy and I *think* he's pretty happy with the way this home school thing is working out.

Me? I'm fried.

I've been known to jump right into new adventures with both feet. And sometimes that's a good thing, and sometimes it's not so good. It's my nature and I certainly haven't betrayed my nature lately. I'm just wondering what I've gotten myself into.

It's not just the homeschooling, either. At some point today I committed to being a co-leader for Munchkin's Junior Girl Scout troop this year... the troop that holds meetings at the exact same time as Goober's football practices. And I'm still trying to figure out how to fit karate in for Bug.

And I can't forget the fact that I need to somehow fit in at least 30 hours of work time in each week, do the grocery shopping, make dinners, do laundry, and keep the house in some sort of order.

I've decided to just forgo sleeping to fit it all in.

The Man has reluctantly agreed to take some time off of work to play taxi driver and baby sitter and I'm in the process of making a new chore list for the kids to help take some of the pressure off of me. So maybe it won't be so insane... maybe?

The kids are only little once, right? Before I know it they'll be grown up and have their own lives and all this insanity will be like a dream.

Who really uses the Quadratic Equation, anyway?

For a minute (it was actually more like a couple of weeks, did you notice?) I made this blog private.

Because for a minute I let someone back into my life and then I regretted it. And that someone was reading this blog.

But screw it, I say now. I'm not going into hiding for anyone. Meh.

It's T minus 5 days and counting until Back To School time here at the Spaz household and I am patiently waiting for that day to come. We're all ready, with brand new school supplies and all the socks and school uniforms washed and ready to go. We have new backpacks and we know where our school appropriate shoes are and we're back to a normal bed time.

But this year is going to be a little different for Bug and me because this year Bug's going to go to school in his bedroom. It's not exactly home school because I'm not making the lesson plans and I'm not really his teacher. He's enrolled in an online school that partners with our school board so I don't think I can really fail him too badly.

Because that was always my qualm with true home school. I think I would fail my child. Not to discredit those moms (and dads) out there who truly home school their children. No, if anything, I have the utmost admiration for what you do. I don't think I could do it.... I'd be like, "Factoring? Oh honey, you'll never really use the Quadratic Equation in real life! Don't even worry about it."

Really... do any of you really remember the Quadratic Equation?? (Jenny, if you're reading this, you aren't allowed to answer. You are a freak of nature who remembers everything anyone has ever told you.) And even if for some strange reason you do remember it, when have you ever used it? Ever?

That's what I thought.

But no, this school will hold me to standards and require that my brilliant boy actually stay on track and do testing and all that jazz. And there will be real teachers who teach him and real lesson plans. We're both very excited.

And nervous.

Okay, maybe it's just me who is nervous.

Because last year when I made this decision I thought it was such a great idea. Bug had some problems in the traditional school. He's easily distracted. He's prone to day dreaming. He needs someone to keep him focused all the time. They've hinted at ADHD at his school and made it clear that unless something changed severely, Bug wasn't going to be able to thrive in a traditional school environment.

So I could try medication or I could try gluten free diets or I could try this.

And it seemed so progressive and modern. Online school for my gifted child who just needs a little more hands on instruction than your average kid. Most likely because he's so brilliant, right?

I pictured our days together as blissful adventures in learning. I pictured dropping the younger two off at elementary school and coming home to find my Bug bright eyed and bushy tailed and ready to learn. I envisioned myself sitting down to the computer with him and reviewing his lessons for the day, the two of us doing fun experiments together and going on enriching field trips. I decided that this way Bug would get his one on one attention from me and he'd thrive by being able to set his own pace and learn the things he loves.

And maybe that's how it will all go, right? I mean, we haven't started yet.

But as the day looms closer I find myself with a nervous lump in my throat. Am I organized enough? Probably not. Do I really have the time to give Bug the necessary guidance he will need this year? I'll obviously have to make the time, but what else will have to give? Am I really up for this?

Only time will tell. Bug actually starts a week after the other two so he'll be glad to have that week to prepare for school in a quiet house free from his siblings. It's another week for me to get myself in order before we have to really put our nose to the grindstone.

I'm praying I've made the right decision for him.