"It's not the easy times that make you the person you're going to be, but the hard times and how you handle them." - My Father

It's been a while since I've posted because I haven't really felt like I had anything much to say. The normal goings on of the Spaz family haven't stopped - we've had karate, and horses, and girl scouts, and family get-togethers, and camping trips, and melt downs, and messes, and all of it. I just haven't felt like reporting everything.

But today I feel like I need to reach out to a friend. A friend who I've never met in person, but who has shared her life in the blogosphere and in private groups with me and on the wonderful world we all know as facebook. Sometimes our lives seem to parallel each other and I have a special place in my heart for her.

My friend is having a tough time with her child. Her oldest child, a senior in high school... she's traveling a path I have yet to travel... so what advice can I possibly give her?

She wrote today about how she told him "I give up".... words uttered in a moment of despair but words she doesn't mean. And she wrote about how she'll never give up. My heart breaks for her and for her child because, though I'm not in that place where I have a teenage child who is experiencing a particularly painful time of growing up, I remember being one.

My parents never gave up.

When I say that to my parents, when I thank them for never giving up on me, my dad always looks at me like he can't believe I would possibly think that he could ever give up.

"Of course we never gave up on you, Beth. You're our child."

But I grew up with other kids whose parents did give up. I had friends that had no safe place to go back to when they failed the first, second, or tenth time. I had friends who struggled and fought to stay alive... and some of them didn't. I can't speak for their parents - maybe they didn't have enough to offer, maybe they couldn't handle the pressures of their own lives and therefore couldn't be there for their children. I don't know the situations. I just know that I saw kids who were falling and no one was there to pick them up.

I gave my mom and dad a hard time growing up. I was defiant, I thought I knew it all, I made all the wrong choices. I went through dark periods of sadness and confusion. I pushed my family away, I told them I didn't need them. I caused them so much pain that there is nothing I could ever do to make up for it. I loved them, I hated them, I lied, I deceived, I did things I would be ashamed to write here.

But when push came to shove, my parents were there. They were always there to pick me up and try to set me back on course when I was ready for help. They never gave up.

I don't know if my mom and dad have any idea how much I appreciate them today. I don't know if they understand how absolutely proud I am to be their daughter. I don't know if words could ever express it.

My friend, my amazing friend who is fighting for her son, some day when he has pulled through all of this darkness and come out the other side a stronger grown up man, he will turn to you with an incredulous look on his beautiful face and thank you for never giving up.

Mom and Dad wanted to say something

A bit of dialog from the first evening with my mom and dad after they've returned from their North Carolina home:

Mom: Beth? You know how you write about things you don't like? Well I want you to write about something. I want you to write about shampoo bottles. Why don't they write it really big on the bottle? I want it to say SHAMPOO in really BIG letters!

Me: So you don't wash your hair with conditioner?

Mom: YES!

Dad: No, you know what you should write about? How hard it is to find cranberry juice. Just plain cranberry juice. I ended up getting some blend of three different juices. At least it was all juice.

I'm so glad my mom and dad are home again. I missed them so much. :)

Made to be a Granddaddy

Today's Sincerely 'Fro Me To You picture is one that has been taken at least ten times before. My dad, standing at the edge of the Atlantic ocean with one of his grandchildren, just taking it in.

I'm fairly certain my sisters could pull out several shots just like this one with their own kids and every single one of them makes us all smile.

My dad lives for his grandchildren. I'm not sure there has ever been a man who is willing to do more for his grandchildren. He bought a condo on the beach so they would always have memories of the beach with their family. He bought a house in the mountains so they could remember family vacations in such a breath taking location. He takes us on amazing tropical vacations every year just so we can all be together and so his grandchildren have incredible childhood memories.

He would stop at nothing for them.

Goober's birthday is Friday and today I called my Dad to ask him if he had gotten a present for him yet. We'd gone to Toys R' Us today and after we had gotten some things for him from us, I noticed something else I thought Goober would like and wanted to give him an idea if he needed one.

But of course, Dad had already gone shopping. As I listened to my dad read off a list of at least four perfect for Goober things he had purchased (including the very LAST Wall-E remote control robot that I know he's just going to blow his little five year old lid off for), I couldn't help but smile at how much he loves to spoil these kids.

I sure hope they learn to appreciate him some day.

For more great Sincerely 'Fro Me To You posts, check out We are THAT Family!

PS - Whoa, I'm really getting sappy lately, aren't I? Hopefully the wit and sarcasm will return soon...