Friday, March 7, 2014

Things always seem so much better in my head

Sporadic blog post!

Maybe some day I'll be able to manage posts on a regular basis.

So, the other day my dryer took a big crap. It has sort of been slowly dying for a while now... taking longer and longer to dry clothes, making sad groaning noises when it starts up, and just plain looking old and sad and worn out. Tuesday, it finally just threw its hands up and gave up.

Now, the last thing we really needed at this time was to purchase a new appliance. So I decided to go old school. I told The Man I wanted him to string up a clothesline.

Oh Internets, I had visions of grandeur. I pictured myself basking in the sunshine with Sudo trotting around the yard with me. An apron full of clothespins on and a basket of warm, sunny laundry at my hip. I can clearly remember my Grandmommy hanging her clothes out on the line and the sheets drying so beautifully in the sun. Grandmommy hung her clothes on the line forever. I don't ever remember her having a dryer even though she certainly could have afforded one.  No, Grandmommy's sheets and towels were always dried in the sun and softened by the breeze. And this is how I pictured things to be around here.

So on Wednesday, before The Man went to work I demanded he hang me up a clothesline. He grumbled a bit, but went into the yard and found a good spot (where the neighbors wouldn't peep our undies hanging from the line) and hung me a full 100 feet of line in between a fence and two trees. It was beautiful. Since I had the fortune to already have a load of damp laundry sitting in my dead dryer, I got to work right away.

First I put on my apron with the two deep pockets in front and filled it with clothespins. Then I gathered up my damp laundry and lugged it out into the yard.  The first thing I noted is that damp laundry weighs a hell of a lot more than dry laundry. But no worries! I would build muscles, get exercise, this would be GREAT! (No one can tell me that I can't turn a negative into a positive when necessary. Optimism for the win!)

I started out in a joyful mood. I think I may have even hummed. I had to wipe the sweat from my brow a bit as I worked in the hot South Florida sun and I learned. So many things. I learned that you can't accidentally drop a damp towel in the grass because it will pick up every single bit of dirt and nastiness down there. I learned that hanging a man's dress shirt is much like a puzzle with no definite answer. I learned that no matter how taut I thought our clothesline was, it sagged with each addition until I could add no more without our clothes kissing the grass. I learned that hanging clothes is excellent exercise - bend, shake, reach, clip, bend shake, reach, clip. I learned that I am out of shape.  It only took me a half hour to hang a load of clothes - about half the time the clothes dryer does it (when it's working correctly) without me having to do much other than shove stuff in and push a button.

But hey! Don't forget that I'm becoming a domestic goddess, saving the planet, and getting soft, breezy, sunshiney laundry in the process!

Our clothes dried in the breeze all afternoon and at 4 pm Munchkin and Bug came home from school. Munchkin walked in the door, gave me a horrified look, dropped her backpack to the floor and walked right back out.

"Where are you going?" I asked her as she was halfway out the front door.

"To get my UNDERWEAR off the line!!" She yelled back at me as she ran out.

"Get the rest of the stuff, then, too!" I sang out to her.

Ah yes, this was going to be great.

Munchkin came back in a huff, with all the clothes from the line except for a few of The Man's shirts and a couple of towels that hadn't completely dried yet.

It was barn day for Munchkin so we jumped in the van and headed over to the barn for her lesson. While she was having her lesson I ran some errands, feeling very domestic goddesslike and efficient.

And that's when I noticed the sky. A blackness rolling in from the west, flickers of lightning off in the distance, an ominous nastiness approaching. Errands were finished up as quickly as possible and I returned to the barn in time to watch Munchkin untack her mount and muck his stall. I hurried her to our awaiting van and we rushed home.

As we pulled in the driveway, big fat droplets were beginning to hit the windshield.... and the laundry. I left my purse in the van as I rushed over to the line and pulled off the stiffest towels you ever did feel as well as several damp collared polo shirts. I ran in the house with them and threw them on the dining room table to fold.

And it poured. All evening Wednesday and all day yesterday. How does one dry laundry in South Florida when it's pouring? With a dryer, that's how. A bonafide, electricity hog, lint puffing clothes dryer.

So yesterday I posted on one of our local facebook swip-swap groups. "ISO inexpensive clothes dryer" and within minutes I had found my new dryer. The Man and his dad went and picked it up and this morning it is tumbling around the first load of our laundry.

Technology is a beautiful thing.